Meeting Prophets and Other Great People

A Sunday School lesson last week got me thinking, perhaps particularly as it followed my sharing one of my stories only a week or two before. Since I didn't share my thoughts in that Sunday School class, and I have some thought-exploring to do on the subject, I thought I'd write in here.

I was just about to start with the first story of shaking hands and speaking to one, but I think I'll back track a bit. Since some might count such as memorable/noteworthy, I'll begin further back when I was first in the same room as a prophet. This would be Ezra Taft Benson when I was a teenager. He came to Fort Collins for a regional conference. My family and I were in the nosebleed section, but I did see him, and there did seem to be something special when he came in the room, but perhaps not quite as extraordinary as I'd been led to expect from the excitement of the adults at church. It was still a good experience. I love Pres. Benson. He said a lot of things during his time as prophet that greatly impacted my life in good ways, particularly his encouragement to read and study the Book of Mormon. But these talks were from general meetings that I either watched on the TV or at a church building. I don't remember what he said in Fort Collins.

We also had a handful of general authorities come to stake and regional conferences when I was growing up, I'm sure. The only one I really remember was Jacob De Jager who was a funny, clever Dutch man. I remember he talked about one of his first callings, perhaps the first, to pass out hymn books before sacrament meeting and how important that calling was. He also shared a lot about Jacob 6 in the Book of Mormon--"O be wise. What can I say more?"

When I went to BYU being in the same room as a prophet greatly lessened in rarity as we had firesides just about every month with either one of the First Presidency or Quorum of Twelve speaking. Occasionally it would be another authority, but quite often it was one of them. And if it was less than I remember, that would be because there were also frequent visits to our Tuesday morning devotionals by general authorities. I almost wrote lessened in significance, but that would be wrong. These events were highly significant to my growing testimony. I don't remember everything they said, but there are several talks that really hit a chord for me, answering prayers and questions that I had at the time. For example, I remember Pres. Hinckley talking about having a positive attitude and being optimistic at a time when I was struggling with depression. I remember Elder Oaks talking about what it means to judge people, defining it crisply and clearly. I remember Elder Scott looking into the cameras in such a way that he seemed to be looking right at me (from discussions with my peers after, I know many had this same impression), talking about God's love, about keeping a journal, about scripture study. And of course, there were plenty of talks about the importance of dating and marrying well.

As one of the firesides I attended was one given by Pres. Howard W. Hunter. This was while Pres. Benson was still the president of the church but was so ill, it was expected he would die soon and Pres. Hunter would become the president soon. This was the fireside at which a crazy man stormed the podium with a bomb threat (turned out, as we learned later, it was just a briefcase of books), trying to get Pres. Hunter to read his message instead of the one he'd planned. Pres. Hunter refused. The auditorium was first filled with tension, surprise and tears of worry, but it was soon taken over by the spirit as angels began to sing and the audience picked up on it, singing hymns. I don't remember what the hymns were, but it was either I am a Child of God or We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet--or perhaps both. I just remember the Spirit. When the situation was handled and the bomb-man evacuated, Pres. Hunter picked up and talked eloquently about handling adversity--so perfect.

One might think these experiences of hearing these great men speak would be sufficient to secure my testimony. And it probably was, but I was still blessed again.

While I was at BYU, I worked at the Special Education Seminary as a janitor, then an editor and miscellaneous helper, and then as secretary. This godsend of a job brought me a few other opportunities. One was a special CES fireside--not the big ones they've had since, just a relatively small one for employees in a regular chapel. At this time, Pres. Henry B. Eyring was the Church's Commissioner of Education, and he was the keynote speaker. So being at this fireside, I got to hear him speak in a relatively small room compared to those I'd experienced thus far with general authorities. Of course, at the time, he wasn't a prophet, but I do remember being very moved and impressed by the Spirit from his talk.

The second opportunity the employment provided was the opportunity to meet Pres. Boyd K. Packer. (Elder at the time) One of the teachers at the seminary was Pres. Packer's grandson, John, a very humble and sweet young man. Of course once I found out he was single and a prophet's grandson, my interest piqued a bit more, but to no avail. He soon was dating and then marrying another one of the teachers, Jody, a sweet girl. I did, however, receive an invitation to their reception, which was in either in the grandson's parents' or in Pres. Packer's backyard. (I don't remember). I do, however, remember very well that I drove up to Salt Lake with one of my friends from the seminary, a teacher who also happened to be my next-door neighbor, Wendy McNair. We were both a bit intimidated, but we mustered the courage to go over to the corner of the lawn where we could see Pres. Packer standing so that we could talk to him and shake his hand. He was very polite and kind. That's what I remember of the meeting itself, but more importantly, I remember that from that point all the way back to Provo--so an hour or so, I felt the Spirit so strongly, it was amazing. Nothing else could explain the feeling of peace, love, and light that I felt on that drive home. It couldn't be confused with being in love with anyone--there were no eligible men there that I remember. It was just amazing, one of the best short experiences of my life.

A couple years later as I was preparing for my mission, Satan worked pretty hard on me with feelings of depression, discouragement, and doubt. I can't say that I looked back on that meeting to push me through. I don't remember that, at least. But I pushed forward, got myself into the MTC in spite of it all, and even in the midst of it. That is, the MTC, too, had its challenges.

Once again, I was in an environment with fairly frequent visits from general authorities. I don't remember much about what they said or who all came other than one. Pres. Hunter signed my mission call, but since he didn't live long once called, Pres. Hinckley had become the president of the Church while I was waiting to enter the MTC.  And yes, he came to visit us. Being a popular prophet, there was a lot of buzz and excitement surrounding his visit. But my district was a little more blessed than some in that not only did we get to hear him speak --in the same room for those to whom that is significant--but it also so happened that we were out front when he was leaving the premises, so, along with a fairly large handful of other missionaries who were out, we gathered round to shake his hand.

If you know me, you might know that I'm not a fan of crowds. Too many people is overwhelming to me. But it wasn't until years later that I realized this was part of my personality. I was just down and struggling with my mood and so many things. In the hubbub, I pushed my hand through to shake the prophet's hand, which he obliged, but somewhat reluctantly as, I suppose, it probably seemed to him a disembodied hand--he couldn't tell whose it was. I stayed standing there afterward though, perhaps a bit dumbstruck or not sure what to do with myself. I'm not sure. As the crowd thinned a bit, he looked into my eyes but didn't say anything. I thought he was probably wondering why my hand wasn't extended, too, or perhaps he was wondering if mine was the disembodied hand. I don't know. But it was a very awkward moment. I didn't feel the Spirit at the time let alone for an hour afterward. I just felt very foolish.

I believe that some others in that crowd, though, did have the experience I'd had with Pres. Packer a couple years prior as there was quite the buzz in our classroom for what felt like days afterward with the elders in my district nearly squealing with excitement about shaking the prophet's hand. Their giddiness made me smile, but inwardly the shame continued. And in fact, more than 22 years later, yes, last week in Sunday School, when the question came up about meeting a prophet, this experience resounded in my head. Why didn't I feel the Spirit when I shook not just a prophet but THE prophet's hand? Was it because I was a bad missionary? because I wasn't supposed to be on a mission? Or something else?

Well, I don't know how to define "bad" missionary. I certainly wasn't perfect, but I wasn't going out of my way to break rules or commandments purposely either. And I'd had a handful of experiences and blessings to confirm I was supposed to be on a mission. So that leaves something else. Then what? Here is where my thought-exploring comes in.

1. Obviously not everyone has an overwhelming experience of the Spirit whenever they meet a prophet or even the prophet, president. If that were the case, there would be tons more people joining the Church. This understanding is helpful, I think for a lot of people--so they don't judge others or themselves.

2. The prophet isn't Jesus. He's His mouthpiece, true, but the prophet is still a mortal man. Perhaps Pres. Hinckley wasn't exuding the Spirit as much at that time, like perhaps he'd had a bad day.

3. Perhaps I wasn't as pure of a vessel as I'd been 2 years before. Back then, my purpose was not to shake Pres. Packer's hand so I could go back home and tell everyone about it. Of course, it's not that I wanted to do that with Pres. Hinckley either, but perhaps I was fighting against the idea of joining the crowd. I couldn't be seen not shaking his hand, but I wasn't anxious to go shouting out that I'd shaken the prophet's hand either. And where's the middle ground? I don't know---I might tend to get all kinds of confusing feelings when there are crowds, too many people. So, maybe it was just a personality thing.

4. Perhaps it was an experience to confirm the Spirit I'd felt when I shook Pres. Packer's hand--affirming that those feelings were not something I could generate on my own. That is, if ever I would want to feel the Spirit after doing something, wouldn't it be when shaking THE prophet's hand? But I couldn't make myself feel it, so when I felt it before with Pres. Packer, it wasn't because I was making myself, because I wanted to feel that way.

There are probably other reasons to consider that I haven't come up with, but I think this is a good start if not conclusive. I think I wanted to share this in Sunday School, but, as you can see, it's a bit complex for a simple comment. Nonetheless, I do hope people understand some of the principles, particularly in light of the questions that led to this pondering in Sunday School. Who are the noble and great ones? What does it feel like to meet one?

Some other commenters in class, I believe, helped with this too by pointing out that the noble and great ones are not just the prophets and apostles. Those who hear the voice of the Lord and follow it, who don't harden their hearts, are the noble and great ones. That could be you. I hope it's me. They are women and men and children, Blacks, Whites, Yellows, and everything in between. They are nursery leaders and maintenance workers, as well as leaders and teachers. God needs all of us.

I'm grateful to live in a time when prophets are once again on the earth, when the fulness of the gospel has been restored, and I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Jesus's true church on the earth. I am so grateful for his leaders, their worthiness and ability to help me understand God's will. I'm also grateful for my callings, my friends, my family members, and all the people God uses to touch my life. In Jesus' name, amen.

Other Conference Thoughts, Elder Scott

For as long as I remember, Elder Scott has been known for his piercing gaze--the way he looks through the teleprompters right into your eyes--no, not the audience's, yours. He knows you and loves you and has a message for you. He has a nice steady and compassionate voice, too, that makes those sometimes pills easier to swallow. For that, his choice to talk about abuse and address it both to the abused and the abuser seemed interesting, and I think he did it very well.

The sad difference this time though seemed that he's aging and his eyes are dimming. He still did his best, and even turned completely away from the teleprompters at one point, looking off to his right to talk to the audience, someone in the audience over there. It was a powerful moment, but interesting because it didn't seem to have the same impact of feeling that he was talking directly to me, which was fine since I don't think I was implicated in what he was saying. But in essence, it still had the same effect. He knew the person he was talking to, loved them, and had a message for them.

Changes in Presidents of the Church

Changes in the position of the president of the Church haven't generally been easy for me. When I was growing up and in primary, the prophet was Pres. Kimball. I loved the song where we sang all the latter-day prophets and though I don't know that I knew much about what he taught, I knew I loved Pres. Kimball. As I've gotten older, I have become more aware of his teachings and I still love him.

President Kimball died when I was 12 or 13, however, so I had to learn to accept a new prophet. Though I'd been made aware of the procedures of the change when a prophet died, and I even knew President Benson would be the next prophet because I learned a few years earlier that he was the senior apostle and all that (and quite proud to know that, too, I'll add) well, it was still kind of hard to adjust to the change. Before long, I learned to love President Benson too. I remember when I was a young woman the balloon thing and his challenge for us to read the Book of Mormon. That influenced and continues to influence me and my testimony in very positive ways--I still read the Book of Mormon every day. And throughout my adolescence I continued to learn more from his teachings and have been blessed for following them. I love President Benson.

When President Benson passed away I was in my 20s, attending BYU, and I was much more aware of the whole process of things at that point. I even knew ALL of the twelve apostles by name, not just the senior apostle, Pres. Hunter. Perhaps because of that, I learned to love Pres. Hunter before he became the prophet, if only from watching him maintain his calm and handle the situation with Cody Judy at the CES fireside at BYU some short time before Pres. Benson died. I felt the Spirit in that meeting testifying he was a prophet and would be a great president. And indeed, that transition wasn't as hard for me. But Pres. Hunter didn't live long after that, less than a year. Still, during that time he taught some great things and I have kept my temple recommend with me and up-to-date partly because of his teachings about the temple. I love President Hunter.

Of course I was familiar with President Hinckley since he had been around in leadership for so long. I also remember talks that he gave at BYU, and he had touched me with his talks about optimism during a time when I really needed that. But for some reason, it still took me a little while to warm up to him as the prophet. But of course it happened, as it always has. There are so many things I love about President Hinckley now.

But now, some 14 years later, now in my 30s, I'm experiencing the change again. Interestingly, I had been anticipating President Monson for quite awhile, probably not as early as when Pres. Kimball was prophet, but at least by my 20s when I learned how young he was. There was no question in my mind that he would be the prophet some day. And so I've spent several conferences listening to him trying to imagine him as the president of the church, perhaps trying to warm myself early this time. Yet for some reason, although they were fine and good and great and all that for the first counselor, none of his talks before really struck me as what I expected from THE prophet.

So, when President Hinckley did pass away, even as much as I loved President Monson before, I'll confess it's felt a little weird to adjust to him in this new role. But I've had a lot of mixed emotions during all of the funeral proceedings and news and whatnot about President Hinckley, feeling also that there was too much attention paid to him as a man and perhaps to the diminishment of other great men and not acknowledging the mantle as much as they should have. I think that's just the nature of the media and natural proceedings when a great man passes away.

Yesterday, during the solemn assembly, I was grateful for the Spirit I felt sustaining me and confirming to me the Lord's will in the changes. But as I watched conference all day yesterday I still noticed how much I missed having President Hinckley around, conducting one or two of the sessions and ending sessions with a few of his remarks, his unique and wonderful sense of humor and his great attitude. His simple presence. I really missed him.

However, I also had a wonderful experience when the first session ended this morning. When President Monson spoke, I could feel the positive feelings and acceptance of him as the President, and see or feel the mantle of prophet on him. It was a good feeling, something I hadn't imagined and can't describe, but there was a definite difference between his talk and those he's been giving for the many, many years before now. It was nice, too, then, in the afternoon session when Elder Holland began his remarks to make note of that feeling in himself and his indication that many others had felt it too. What a blessing the Lord has given us all to adjust to change, to be able to see and feel that difference! He knows change is hard, not just on me but on a lot of people! Even another apostle. And we need those manifestations. And of course, it's also a testimony that there really is something different, very special and true about having a prophet, a spokesman for the Lord on the Earth today. I love President Monson. But most importantly, I love the Lord Jesus Christ, the head of the Church.