Food Allergies

So you might have noticed I haven't blogged for awhile. Yeah, I know. You thought I liked to write, too.
But the truth is that sometimes I don't. That is, sometimes I feel I haven't got anything to say, and sometimes I think nobody's listening anyway. And sometimes I think if I write it down, then I'll have less to talk about when I have chances to talk to people, and since I'm not very talkative, having things to talk about is always nice.

But lately, I've mostly been tired. I mean, I play my point and click games, but putting fingers to the keyboard to write something meaningful has felt like too much. Especially with this laptop with a broken hinge that I can't put on my lap very easily, making my fingers have to stretch a bit more.

So why have I been tired, and have I really been that tired? Well, yes, I have. But the good news is that I think I'm figuring out why and things should look up soon. See, I think I'm figuring out that I'm allergic to yeast. And when a person is allergic to yeast and they eat things with yeast or refined sugar in them, then one of the symptoms is that they get very tired. And since just about everything worth tasting has refined sugar in it, so it seems, I've been pretty lethargic. But then, cutting out those things can be tiring too, because what's left? Fruits and vegetables, which aren't really as filling as I'd like, especially when you can't put things on them that have refined sugar in them, and so I'm hungry and tired.

Actually, I'm exaggerating a little bit. I have found some other things I can eat, but I've also not completely cut out some things as I should because I have a limited budget and would like to eat what I have. There's also the experimentation with different things in narrowing it down to what I am allergic to and what yeast is really in--which turns out to be more than you'd think, like cheese, soy sauce, tomato sauce, peanuts, mushrooms. And I actually think there are more things than just yeast that I might be allergic to, but I'm not sure exactly what they are yet. I do get to see an allergist this week, though, so I should have a better idea pretty soon.

And I had a priesthood blessing today which helped to lift my spirits more. Actually, I should point out that with my many prayers, my spirits have been doing better gradually. But the blessing was great. There was a case of interesting timing involved in this too, because I was asked to sub in the primary and that in itself was an answer to prayers because though I hate to admit it publicly (but here I go anyway:), I'm a little burnt out on R.S. and Sunday School at the moment. I'm sure it will pass. But I really do love children and miss being around them.

So anyway, the lesson I was to teach today happened to be about healing the sick. I got the link to it last night, and since earlier in the day or maybe the day before, I'd been contemplating sickness and Jesus's point of view on them, it made me a little choked up to open the lesson to see that's what I was to teach. It seemed to be a confirmation of what I'd been thinking. I needed a blessing. I felt some minor reservation because I'd just had a father's blessing when I was at home at Easter, but it wasn't a healing blessing, and because of not only the fatigue but other symptoms as well, it seemed like that was what I needed, and it did feel wonderful and give me some needed encouragement. I mean, hey--I'm writing now, putting fingers to this awkward keyboard, so that's something already!

PB Follow-up, Floppy Transferral

Okay, so I actually wrote that pb post yesterday, but I was going to edit it last night and didn't. (So the yesterday's and today's make sense in it)

But the story continues. So, I was going to post that old poem into that post, thinking it was an old file I'd emailed to myself when I cleared out my last computer. But alas, the poem hadn't made it into that computer--only to an old floppy. I was almost devastated.

I have a number of files on old floppies, and some of them I've even wanted to find in the past year or so, but have been unable to retrieve them because so few computers have floppy drives any more. But wonder of wonders, I noticed the computer I'm on now--this temp assignment's computer--has a floppy drive! Hallelujah! And good timing too, because today is my last day here.

I brought in my bag of floppies this morning, not quite sure how to secure all those many files, but figuring emailing if nothing else. But then, great joy, I remembered I had a stick in my purse, a relatively new one with lots of free space. More Hallelujahs! And, transferring files from floppy to stick is something you can do while slapping stickers on folders. And yes, that's important. (I'm interspersing sticker slapping now, as I write in fact, as well--just in case you were interested.)

So this morning in no time I transferred the files from 6 floppies to my stick, and I still have tons of room on the stick. Amazing, technology is. I just hope sticks don't go out of fashion.

Anyway, so here's the poem:
Peanut Butter Biscuits Oct. 1993
PB biscuits brightened my hard day
When I cam home from class in the usual way
PB biscuits were so sweet to eat
I would like to have them for my afternoon treat
PB biscuits surprised me so much
When nothing but them could I eat for lunch
PB biscuits left my stomach full
After only a few--and that ain’t no bull.
PB biscuits can be your friend, too
When you feel so sad that your fingers turn blue
PB biscuits will warm you up nice
When you’re desperate enough to heed my advice.

Wow--I even call pb a friend back then, too. It must be true.

Missing Peanut Butter

I like peanut butter. I mean, I'm not in love with it, not going to marry it, probably not even date it. Honestly, it's just a friend! But I do like it, a lot. I like the taste and smell and texture, particularly crunchy. I like it in cookies and cakes and brownies and ice cream and yes, even sandwiches. I also like it on crackers and celery and pancakes. In college, many years ago, I wrote a poem about the peace and joy I received from eating peanut buttered biscuits. But oh! with all of these, the joy is doubled when you add chocolate to the mix. mmm MMM. Okay, so since there was some lip-smacking action, maybe we were really good friends.

But it doesn't matter, because it's all over anyway. See, unfortunately, a couple years ago I noticed my head start to tighten up when I'd eat certain things with peanuts, and eventually, eating peanuty things produced full-on migraines. No fun at all. Every once in awhile I'll be unable to resist and eat some peanut M&Ms are some small peanut thing, but I don't own any peanut butter any more.

For the most part, I've gotten by just fine without it. Dessert tables usually include plenty of non-peanuty treats, and I manage to avoid buying such for myself. My sandwiches have ham and cheese, which is probably better anyway, to help me with the calcium. Though peanut butter and cheese isn't really that bad, ham is probably a little less fattening.

Last night, however, I was rummaging for a snack and found the best option was some freezer waffles--low fat, I'll add, and with strawberries. They're pretty good. But I found what I really, really wanted to put on them was peanut butter. It was an interesting feeling, not a craving like I sometimes get for chocolate, that anxious feeling of needing chocolate like you see depicted in commercials all over the place. It was more of this melancholy feeling you get when you look at pictures of old friends. And as for a friend, I might have risked a migraine for it. But well, I couldn't really justify going to buy a whole tub. Still, last night, I was really missing my old friend peanut butter.

I settled for jam.

Something about Pizza

When I was in that two-jobs situation a couple weeks ago, I had this certain craving for pizza when I came home Monday night, the first night. I think it might have been a growing desire from the atmosphere in the evening job. But I gave in on Monday night and for the first time in several years actually ordered myself some pizza. (Don't worry, I didn't eat it all in one day.)

I was thinking then that it had to have something to do with the work atmosphere. Working late hours, staring at a computer, perhaps, I thought, reminded me of my high school days of working on the newspaper. When we had layout nights (These were old-school days. We had a light board on which we laid regular newspaper-page sized pieces of tagboard with the article/photo layout sketched on them in pencil. Layout nights came toward the end when the articles were copy-edited (by me), some writers finished writing theirs, and the section editors cut and glued the articles and photos in place.) Sometimes it took a few nights, depending on how far behind we were, in order to reach our deadlines. Ideally, it was only supposed to take one night. In any case, we stayed late hours sometimes and always ordered pizza.

The data entry evening job I had a couple weeks ago wasn't as stimulating as working on the newspaper, but it was working late, as I already described.

Well, then last night I had this craving again to order pizza. I didn't this time. Neither my body nor my wallet can budget that. I contented myself with tuna and chips. But where was the craving coming from? I hadn't worked late, and I definitely wasn't doing stimulating work. But I had worked all day--slapping sticker on envelopes. Actually something I've done too much of in the past week--data entry, slapping stickers and stuffing envelopes. It's mind numbing. Seriously. And that made me think that yes, pizza ordering is also associated with brainless work--something to add comfort to long hours of nothingness. It probably doesn't help either that there's a pizza place walking distance from here--like on the same block walking distance.

And there I have one more reason that I really need to find more stimulating employment. I can't be craving pizza all the time.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Can you believe it? Probably. It happens to everyone. Okay, maybe not everyone. But I'm glad not to be among those it doesn't happen to--turning 35, entering the new age category.

I'm not sure how this age category is qualified, but it does tend to happen that you see forms where 35 marks as you as older than those 20-to-young 30-somethings. Not long ago 35 would have been middle age, when life expectancy was only 70. It really isn't that much older now, but for some reason, and fortunately so, that middle age nomen tends to refer to older folks than I. In any case, I am inching closer to the top of that hill.

So how do I feel? Well, my back really hurts today. I think it's from lifting this incredibly heavy museum case for the student publications on Friday. But otherwise, not too bad. Tired too. That's a perpetual case, all summer at Hollins. But you mean the feelings, like, don't you? Like am I feeling old and decrepit? Sad? Forgotten? No, I'm okay there. I feel actually pretty happy today.

Later I'll go do dinner and have cake with a few friends, which is nice. But it's been interesting to ponder because I haven't lived on campus the past three years and so haven't been as close to the students, in both ways. But when I was putting together a list of friends to ask to join me, which was also a notch up in the bravery on my part--I've never thrown my own birthday party--I found it hard to parse down to a non-overwhelming number. So many good people and friends here.

I've had friends do things with me and for me the past three years, and I'm so glad for them! But a couple times it's been very last minute, so I've tended toward celebrating by myself earlier in the day. And, oddly, I suppose I kind of miss those self-indulgent days--allowing myself to buy whichever piece of cake I want at the grocery store. I suppose I could still do that. But really, I think I much prefer this having friends around thing.

New Cookies

Last night, wanting some cookies but not having brown sugar--which I actually don't have on purpose so I wouldn't make cookies--I saw that I did have an Angel Food cake mix and wondered what I could do with that. No bundt pan, but I know some people turn cake mixes into cookies, so I thought I'd give it a try. I flipped through the old BYU 11th ward cookbook that I thought had such a recipe, but didn't see anything, so I decided just to guess at something that might work.
So here's what I did.

1 Angel Food cake mix
a handful of cocoa
a few pinches of apple pie spice
about 3/4 cup of water

Mix it all up. It takes a bit of work--this is half the water that the cake recipe calls for

Oven at 350 for maybe 10 minutes.
And yea, it was actually pretty good. Yum, yum.

Happy Easter!

Guess what I got in the mail this week? It seems to me if you can have Christmas in July, you can have Easter in May. I really don't see why not. I'm grateful for Easter all year round! Thanks Mom!

Chewing Gum in the House

As I was exiting the metro station, I paused at the trash can and considered throwing out my gum before proceeding to my car. Then I shook my head and kept going. Why would that make a difference? I've chewed gum in my car before. I'm not sure why I thought it, or had that reaction, but it did remind me of a funny thing when I was at home for Christmas this year. My mother offered me a piece of gum... in our house! You're thinking, so what? Well, in our house when we were kids, we were not allowed to chew gum. I always thought my mother hated and despised it, though I knew it had to do with some accidents. But I thought she loathed it all together. Anyway, it took me by surprise when she offered it to me, especially in the house.

Maybe because I was the only child at home, I was having subliminal feelings that she was doing something special for me, something I couldn't tell the others. So I laughed out loud, and teased her about it. "You're offering me gum? In the house? I'm telling!" She excused herself that that was only a rule for children. I wasn't a child any more, was I? Of course not, and I still took the gum, and even though whichever one of my siblings I told didn't appreciate it as much as I did either, I still thought it was funny.

So anyway, back to today. After I passed the trash can and continued on my way toward my car, I reflected on this story and some broader picture ideas came to my head. Are there commandments that are only for children and some that are only for adults? For more mature spirit children and less mature spirit children? Okay, so that train of thought didn't get too far, because the only connection I could come up with is that scripture that says we get more commandments when we keep the first ones, or something like that. Boy, what a scripture scholar I am! Anyway, so that might kind of imply that I still shouldn't be chewing gum in the house.

But the truth is that as I've matured, I have had more rules about the house--maybe not my parents' house, actually less there. But more about my own--like paying the rent on time, having a job so I can pay the rent, keeping up a bank account so I can pay the rent, having a car--paying car payments, insurance, taxes, etc so I can get to the metro :) so I can get to work, so I can pay the rent--you get the idea. Cleaning up after myself, cleaning up for other people sometimes--well I had to clean as a kid, but not usually the whole shabang. Yea, being an adult has some rules that kids don't.

So maybe it's okay and maybe we do lose some of the commandments or rules as we get older--they're just helping us get there--keeping the gum out of the hair so I can look presentable when I get to work, so I can keep the job and pay the rent and feed the fly that sits on the wart on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole of the bottom of the house that Jack built. I think I can handle chewing gum in the house now.

Another Tag!

A!nne Marie tagged me again!

Here we go!

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?
Can I remember that far back? April of 1998, hmm. I was graduating from BYU! 17th? Don't remember exactly, but it could very well be the anniversary. Graduation's usually the middle of the month. I had actually finished classes in December but couldn't figure out how to do the whole register to graduate thing. In high school, it was taken care of for you! Well, I also had thought about finishing the minor in French, but without any money, I didn't think I was justified getting a loan for that. Oh well.

2. 5 things on your to do list today:
-Do a blog posting or two, including this one
-Pass some levels on this Drawing computer game--don't remember what it's called. I know, lofty ambitions.
-Try to work on Part II of my novel again--maybe I'll blog more about that.
-Read the scriptures
-Read some book(s) in preparation for classes this summer
Maybe I should have done this yesterday. I had more things to do then. But today was slow at work because everyone was telecommuting to avoid Pope traffic.

3. Snacks I enjoy:
chocolate chip cookies--cookies
Twix
salad with fruit in it
tortilla chips
Wheat Thins

4. What would I do if I were suddenly a billionaire?
Pay off my debts, finish school, maybe get another degree that I've been considering and not feel too guilty about it. Since I was little and this question was asked, I've always said pay off my parents house. I don't think they have too much further, but I guess I'd still do that. And then maybe buy my own house, put some in some secure savings and stuff, and give a lot to good charitable causes.

5. 3 bad habits:
eating too many snacks
Sleeping in and having to drive to the metro
buying too many books

6. 5 places I've lived
Loveland, CO
Calgary, AB
Le Havre, France
Rouen, France
Provo, UT

7. 5 jobs I've had:
-administrative assistant
-editor, special ed seminary teacher training manual
-research assistant, history of rhetoric
-day care/preschool teacher
-copyright go-to, (I would say specialist, but I've been told only lawyers can say that), School of Language Studies, Foreign Service Institute

8. 5 things people don't know about me:
I guess it depends on which people :)
-sometimes I throw books away
-I had a blue frisbee in high school; our senior year, I used to play on the lawn in front with one of my friends during lunch and some sophomores teased us.
-I love collecting T-shirts
-The only time I ever watched conference on temple square (back in Tabernacle days), I fell asleep and didn't get much out of it. But hey--these were non-ticket days, too--we were in line very, very early in the morning to get in.
-Every once in awhile I dye my hair just a little bit blonder.

I don't know who my regular readers are or if they have their own blogs, so if you have one-consider yourself tagged !