Meeting Prophets and Other Great People

A Sunday School lesson last week got me thinking, perhaps particularly as it followed my sharing one of my stories only a week or two before. Since I didn't share my thoughts in that Sunday School class, and I have some thought-exploring to do on the subject, I thought I'd write in here.

I was just about to start with the first story of shaking hands and speaking to one, but I think I'll back track a bit. Since some might count such as memorable/noteworthy, I'll begin further back when I was first in the same room as a prophet. This would be Ezra Taft Benson when I was a teenager. He came to Fort Collins for a regional conference. My family and I were in the nosebleed section, but I did see him, and there did seem to be something special when he came in the room, but perhaps not quite as extraordinary as I'd been led to expect from the excitement of the adults at church. It was still a good experience. I love Pres. Benson. He said a lot of things during his time as prophet that greatly impacted my life in good ways, particularly his encouragement to read and study the Book of Mormon. But these talks were from general meetings that I either watched on the TV or at a church building. I don't remember what he said in Fort Collins.

We also had a handful of general authorities come to stake and regional conferences when I was growing up, I'm sure. The only one I really remember was Jacob De Jager who was a funny, clever Dutch man. I remember he talked about one of his first callings, perhaps the first, to pass out hymn books before sacrament meeting and how important that calling was. He also shared a lot about Jacob 6 in the Book of Mormon--"O be wise. What can I say more?"

When I went to BYU being in the same room as a prophet greatly lessened in rarity as we had firesides just about every month with either one of the First Presidency or Quorum of Twelve speaking. Occasionally it would be another authority, but quite often it was one of them. And if it was less than I remember, that would be because there were also frequent visits to our Tuesday morning devotionals by general authorities. I almost wrote lessened in significance, but that would be wrong. These events were highly significant to my growing testimony. I don't remember everything they said, but there are several talks that really hit a chord for me, answering prayers and questions that I had at the time. For example, I remember Pres. Hinckley talking about having a positive attitude and being optimistic at a time when I was struggling with depression. I remember Elder Oaks talking about what it means to judge people, defining it crisply and clearly. I remember Elder Scott looking into the cameras in such a way that he seemed to be looking right at me (from discussions with my peers after, I know many had this same impression), talking about God's love, about keeping a journal, about scripture study. And of course, there were plenty of talks about the importance of dating and marrying well.

As one of the firesides I attended was one given by Pres. Howard W. Hunter. This was while Pres. Benson was still the president of the church but was so ill, it was expected he would die soon and Pres. Hunter would become the president soon. This was the fireside at which a crazy man stormed the podium with a bomb threat (turned out, as we learned later, it was just a briefcase of books), trying to get Pres. Hunter to read his message instead of the one he'd planned. Pres. Hunter refused. The auditorium was first filled with tension, surprise and tears of worry, but it was soon taken over by the spirit as angels began to sing and the audience picked up on it, singing hymns. I don't remember what the hymns were, but it was either I am a Child of God or We Thank Thee O God for a Prophet--or perhaps both. I just remember the Spirit. When the situation was handled and the bomb-man evacuated, Pres. Hunter picked up and talked eloquently about handling adversity--so perfect.

One might think these experiences of hearing these great men speak would be sufficient to secure my testimony. And it probably was, but I was still blessed again.

While I was at BYU, I worked at the Special Education Seminary as a janitor, then an editor and miscellaneous helper, and then as secretary. This godsend of a job brought me a few other opportunities. One was a special CES fireside--not the big ones they've had since, just a relatively small one for employees in a regular chapel. At this time, Pres. Henry B. Eyring was the Church's Commissioner of Education, and he was the keynote speaker. So being at this fireside, I got to hear him speak in a relatively small room compared to those I'd experienced thus far with general authorities. Of course, at the time, he wasn't a prophet, but I do remember being very moved and impressed by the Spirit from his talk.

The second opportunity the employment provided was the opportunity to meet Pres. Boyd K. Packer. (Elder at the time) One of the teachers at the seminary was Pres. Packer's grandson, John, a very humble and sweet young man. Of course once I found out he was single and a prophet's grandson, my interest piqued a bit more, but to no avail. He soon was dating and then marrying another one of the teachers, Jody, a sweet girl. I did, however, receive an invitation to their reception, which was in either in the grandson's parents' or in Pres. Packer's backyard. (I don't remember). I do, however, remember very well that I drove up to Salt Lake with one of my friends from the seminary, a teacher who also happened to be my next-door neighbor, Wendy McNair. We were both a bit intimidated, but we mustered the courage to go over to the corner of the lawn where we could see Pres. Packer standing so that we could talk to him and shake his hand. He was very polite and kind. That's what I remember of the meeting itself, but more importantly, I remember that from that point all the way back to Provo--so an hour or so, I felt the Spirit so strongly, it was amazing. Nothing else could explain the feeling of peace, love, and light that I felt on that drive home. It couldn't be confused with being in love with anyone--there were no eligible men there that I remember. It was just amazing, one of the best short experiences of my life.

A couple years later as I was preparing for my mission, Satan worked pretty hard on me with feelings of depression, discouragement, and doubt. I can't say that I looked back on that meeting to push me through. I don't remember that, at least. But I pushed forward, got myself into the MTC in spite of it all, and even in the midst of it. That is, the MTC, too, had its challenges.

Once again, I was in an environment with fairly frequent visits from general authorities. I don't remember much about what they said or who all came other than one. Pres. Hunter signed my mission call, but since he didn't live long once called, Pres. Hinckley had become the president of the Church while I was waiting to enter the MTC.  And yes, he came to visit us. Being a popular prophet, there was a lot of buzz and excitement surrounding his visit. But my district was a little more blessed than some in that not only did we get to hear him speak --in the same room for those to whom that is significant--but it also so happened that we were out front when he was leaving the premises, so, along with a fairly large handful of other missionaries who were out, we gathered round to shake his hand.

If you know me, you might know that I'm not a fan of crowds. Too many people is overwhelming to me. But it wasn't until years later that I realized this was part of my personality. I was just down and struggling with my mood and so many things. In the hubbub, I pushed my hand through to shake the prophet's hand, which he obliged, but somewhat reluctantly as, I suppose, it probably seemed to him a disembodied hand--he couldn't tell whose it was. I stayed standing there afterward though, perhaps a bit dumbstruck or not sure what to do with myself. I'm not sure. As the crowd thinned a bit, he looked into my eyes but didn't say anything. I thought he was probably wondering why my hand wasn't extended, too, or perhaps he was wondering if mine was the disembodied hand. I don't know. But it was a very awkward moment. I didn't feel the Spirit at the time let alone for an hour afterward. I just felt very foolish.

I believe that some others in that crowd, though, did have the experience I'd had with Pres. Packer a couple years prior as there was quite the buzz in our classroom for what felt like days afterward with the elders in my district nearly squealing with excitement about shaking the prophet's hand. Their giddiness made me smile, but inwardly the shame continued. And in fact, more than 22 years later, yes, last week in Sunday School, when the question came up about meeting a prophet, this experience resounded in my head. Why didn't I feel the Spirit when I shook not just a prophet but THE prophet's hand? Was it because I was a bad missionary? because I wasn't supposed to be on a mission? Or something else?

Well, I don't know how to define "bad" missionary. I certainly wasn't perfect, but I wasn't going out of my way to break rules or commandments purposely either. And I'd had a handful of experiences and blessings to confirm I was supposed to be on a mission. So that leaves something else. Then what? Here is where my thought-exploring comes in.

1. Obviously not everyone has an overwhelming experience of the Spirit whenever they meet a prophet or even the prophet, president. If that were the case, there would be tons more people joining the Church. This understanding is helpful, I think for a lot of people--so they don't judge others or themselves.

2. The prophet isn't Jesus. He's His mouthpiece, true, but the prophet is still a mortal man. Perhaps Pres. Hinckley wasn't exuding the Spirit as much at that time, like perhaps he'd had a bad day.

3. Perhaps I wasn't as pure of a vessel as I'd been 2 years before. Back then, my purpose was not to shake Pres. Packer's hand so I could go back home and tell everyone about it. Of course, it's not that I wanted to do that with Pres. Hinckley either, but perhaps I was fighting against the idea of joining the crowd. I couldn't be seen not shaking his hand, but I wasn't anxious to go shouting out that I'd shaken the prophet's hand either. And where's the middle ground? I don't know---I might tend to get all kinds of confusing feelings when there are crowds, too many people. So, maybe it was just a personality thing.

4. Perhaps it was an experience to confirm the Spirit I'd felt when I shook Pres. Packer's hand--affirming that those feelings were not something I could generate on my own. That is, if ever I would want to feel the Spirit after doing something, wouldn't it be when shaking THE prophet's hand? But I couldn't make myself feel it, so when I felt it before with Pres. Packer, it wasn't because I was making myself, because I wanted to feel that way.

There are probably other reasons to consider that I haven't come up with, but I think this is a good start if not conclusive. I think I wanted to share this in Sunday School, but, as you can see, it's a bit complex for a simple comment. Nonetheless, I do hope people understand some of the principles, particularly in light of the questions that led to this pondering in Sunday School. Who are the noble and great ones? What does it feel like to meet one?

Some other commenters in class, I believe, helped with this too by pointing out that the noble and great ones are not just the prophets and apostles. Those who hear the voice of the Lord and follow it, who don't harden their hearts, are the noble and great ones. That could be you. I hope it's me. They are women and men and children, Blacks, Whites, Yellows, and everything in between. They are nursery leaders and maintenance workers, as well as leaders and teachers. God needs all of us.

I'm grateful to live in a time when prophets are once again on the earth, when the fulness of the gospel has been restored, and I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Jesus's true church on the earth. I am so grateful for his leaders, their worthiness and ability to help me understand God's will. I'm also grateful for my callings, my friends, my family members, and all the people God uses to touch my life. In Jesus' name, amen.

Living Prophets

Last week I taught Relief Society, Lesson #16 in the Joseph Smith manual, and the lesson went pretty well. I didn't have time to cover everything, which quite often happens, but we had a good discussion with the material we did cover.

It was a good lesson for me particularly to give for a few reasons. (I think the Lord does that on purpose.) But one of those reasons has been on my mind both from when I first read the lesson to now a week later--well longer really, but I'll get to that.

The title of the lesson was Revelation and the Living Prophet, and so of course it dealt with modern revelation. It's a great thing. I'm so glad to live during a time when the fullness of the gospel is on the Earth so I can benefit from living prophets. I've tried following their counsel for many, many years.

In fact, I think I've addressed one of these before, at the time Pres. Hinckley passed away. That is, when Pres. Benson was the prophet, he asked us to read the Book of Mormon every day. And so, with very few exceptions, I have been doing that for many, many years. And then in 2000, I remember reading in the R.S./Priesthood manual of that time--(I think it was Joseph F. Smith), that the prophet of focus, encouraged the saints to read from all of the scriptures every day--Bible, Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants. I'll confess I haven't done it every day, but at least a few times a week, I try to read from the other books in the canon. And I love the scriptures more, I think, from becoming familiar with them in this way.

So, you're wondering, where am I going with this? It is good just to bear my testimony, I guess, but there's another point.

In the lesson is this quote that I actually heard some time when I was at BYU from a returned missionary, maybe he was my home teacher, I don't remember. I don't even remember who it was, just that it was an RM. Anyway, we were talking about daily scripture study and he said that he reads general conference talks every day and not from the other scriptures (I don't recall if it was ever or not as much), because of this quote. (Though I'm sure he paraphrased it and didn't have the source, so I've long wondered what the actually quote was--nice to have these manuals now!)

"Brother Brigham took the stand, and he took the Bible, and laid it down; he took the Book of Mormon, and laid it down; and he took the Book of Doctrine and Covenants, and laid it down before him, and he said: ‘There is the written word of God to us, concerning the work of God from the beginning of the world, almost, to our day. And now,’ said he, ‘when compared with the [living] oracles those books are nothing to me; those books do not convey the word of God direct to us now, as do the words of a Prophet or a man bearing the Holy Priesthood in our day and generation. I would rather have the living oracles than all the writing in the books.’"

At the time, it struck me a little funny because I felt like a contradiction. The prophet had told me (us--everyone) to read the Book of Mormon every day, so that's what I was doing, and now this guy was insinuating that I should instead just be reading conference talks every day.

Well, as indicated already, I didn't stop reading the BoM every day because of that, but the conversation has stuck with me and even in teaching the quote in Relief Society last week, I've wondered how I'm supposed to address it, both in the lesson and in my life. What is its significance?

First, I think it's important to recognize that the gospel doesn't ever change. Last Saturday night, before giving the lesson, I ran through the most recent conference addresses just to verify my supposition, which was confirmed--that every single talk, with the exception of Pres. Monson's concluding remarks, incorporated verses from the ancient canon. And even in Pres. Monson's concluding remarks, although verses were not included, the principles he touched on could have been referenced to other scriptures easily enough.

So I came up with a few analogies, hoping to understand. The first I thought of was it's like the difference between canned fruit and fresh fruit. It's the same thing, but one is a little better for you--coming more recently from the vine. But that's not the whole sense of it. I also thought of it being like a snowball vs. a snowman. There are snowballs in the snowman but there's a lot more there and it's applied to your current situation. That's another aspect of it, but still not the whole sense. And then I thought it's like if you could only shop from one store for a whole year, would you shop at a store with vintage clothing or would you shop at Super Wal-Mart where you can get your clothes and food and a variety of other needed items as well? Well of course, you'd take the latter. Even if you don't particularly like Wal-Mart. But that's not the point. I think all of these analogies have some relevance, and of course, no analogy is ever complete and you can always take one too far and it loses its validity.

But I think the last was most helpful for me. The fact is that we're not limited to one store per year. But that's kind of the point Brigham Young was making. "I would rather have"--is a conditional clause. That means that there's an "if" attached to it, even if not uttered. And it seems natural to assume that the "if" here would be "if I had to choose between one and the other." And he also indicates why--because we need the words of the prophet's today for our today's need. But how can he say this and at the same time have a prophet say we need to read the Book of Mormon every day? Because the principles are all the same, and the living prophets are going to be very familiar with the ancient prophets, so for us to have a better understanding of what the living prophets are telling us, we need to understand how the Lord worked yesterday. It helps us understand how He works today and love Him more.

So in the end, who was right? Me or the RM? Well, actually neither one of us. We both should have been reading both the conference addresses and the Book of Mormon. And so, well, I've tried at various times in the past to do better at reading conference talks, but it hasn't stuck like it should. So that was another reason I needed this lesson, to bring that back to me. I've been reading them again this week, and it's been great with every talk I've read. So much amazing stuff! How blessed I am to have these words in my life. I know they're from the Lord, and I write these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Changes in Presidents of the Church

Changes in the position of the president of the Church haven't generally been easy for me. When I was growing up and in primary, the prophet was Pres. Kimball. I loved the song where we sang all the latter-day prophets and though I don't know that I knew much about what he taught, I knew I loved Pres. Kimball. As I've gotten older, I have become more aware of his teachings and I still love him.

President Kimball died when I was 12 or 13, however, so I had to learn to accept a new prophet. Though I'd been made aware of the procedures of the change when a prophet died, and I even knew President Benson would be the next prophet because I learned a few years earlier that he was the senior apostle and all that (and quite proud to know that, too, I'll add) well, it was still kind of hard to adjust to the change. Before long, I learned to love President Benson too. I remember when I was a young woman the balloon thing and his challenge for us to read the Book of Mormon. That influenced and continues to influence me and my testimony in very positive ways--I still read the Book of Mormon every day. And throughout my adolescence I continued to learn more from his teachings and have been blessed for following them. I love President Benson.

When President Benson passed away I was in my 20s, attending BYU, and I was much more aware of the whole process of things at that point. I even knew ALL of the twelve apostles by name, not just the senior apostle, Pres. Hunter. Perhaps because of that, I learned to love Pres. Hunter before he became the prophet, if only from watching him maintain his calm and handle the situation with Cody Judy at the CES fireside at BYU some short time before Pres. Benson died. I felt the Spirit in that meeting testifying he was a prophet and would be a great president. And indeed, that transition wasn't as hard for me. But Pres. Hunter didn't live long after that, less than a year. Still, during that time he taught some great things and I have kept my temple recommend with me and up-to-date partly because of his teachings about the temple. I love President Hunter.

Of course I was familiar with President Hinckley since he had been around in leadership for so long. I also remember talks that he gave at BYU, and he had touched me with his talks about optimism during a time when I really needed that. But for some reason, it still took me a little while to warm up to him as the prophet. But of course it happened, as it always has. There are so many things I love about President Hinckley now.

But now, some 14 years later, now in my 30s, I'm experiencing the change again. Interestingly, I had been anticipating President Monson for quite awhile, probably not as early as when Pres. Kimball was prophet, but at least by my 20s when I learned how young he was. There was no question in my mind that he would be the prophet some day. And so I've spent several conferences listening to him trying to imagine him as the president of the church, perhaps trying to warm myself early this time. Yet for some reason, although they were fine and good and great and all that for the first counselor, none of his talks before really struck me as what I expected from THE prophet.

So, when President Hinckley did pass away, even as much as I loved President Monson before, I'll confess it's felt a little weird to adjust to him in this new role. But I've had a lot of mixed emotions during all of the funeral proceedings and news and whatnot about President Hinckley, feeling also that there was too much attention paid to him as a man and perhaps to the diminishment of other great men and not acknowledging the mantle as much as they should have. I think that's just the nature of the media and natural proceedings when a great man passes away.

Yesterday, during the solemn assembly, I was grateful for the Spirit I felt sustaining me and confirming to me the Lord's will in the changes. But as I watched conference all day yesterday I still noticed how much I missed having President Hinckley around, conducting one or two of the sessions and ending sessions with a few of his remarks, his unique and wonderful sense of humor and his great attitude. His simple presence. I really missed him.

However, I also had a wonderful experience when the first session ended this morning. When President Monson spoke, I could feel the positive feelings and acceptance of him as the President, and see or feel the mantle of prophet on him. It was a good feeling, something I hadn't imagined and can't describe, but there was a definite difference between his talk and those he's been giving for the many, many years before now. It was nice, too, then, in the afternoon session when Elder Holland began his remarks to make note of that feeling in himself and his indication that many others had felt it too. What a blessing the Lord has given us all to adjust to change, to be able to see and feel that difference! He knows change is hard, not just on me but on a lot of people! Even another apostle. And we need those manifestations. And of course, it's also a testimony that there really is something different, very special and true about having a prophet, a spokesman for the Lord on the Earth today. I love President Monson. But most importantly, I love the Lord Jesus Christ, the head of the Church.