End of Year Letter

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Merry Christmas!

For some reason this Christmas season seems to have just flown by. Perhaps because I'm not at work with work parties that seem to enhance and add to the feeling. Perhaps it's a blessing since I didn't get to go home this year.

I have been away from home one other Christmas, 1995, when I was on my mission in France. I was in Evry then, in a ward with huge geographical boundaries, so we normally didn't eat much at the members' homes. However, with the Christmas season, the ward mission leader decided to strongly encourage the members to feed us throughout the month and passed around sign up sheets. It was kind of nice to have that. Even with the encouragement, we didn't have "mangez-vous" every day (a missionaryism in France; most appointments were called rendez-vous, but when you got to eat, it was a mangez-vous), but still we got to meet quite a few more members than we'd known before and had some fun experiences seeing how the ethnically diverse members in the area lived, and particularly how they decorated for Christmas.

Or didn't decorate for Christmas. I had thought I'd learned in school that French people had a handful of Christmas traditions, and so I guess I assumed they'd dec their places out like we do in America. But it seems a lot of those traditions were in the nature of traditional as the "traditional" costumes you find on those "representative" dolls. People don't really dress like that any more. And they don't really decorate a lot either. (They did decorate--just not as much.)

On our visits, we asked the hosts what their Christmas memories and traditions included, often noting the toned-down sense we got. The answer I remember best was that they just felt the season for them was just about spending time with family.

Interesting. We do tend to think about it that way too, in the U.S., but that aspect can also have a tendency to get buried in the midst of all the places we have to go--those work parties, school things, concerts, etc.--things that tended to "cumber" my mother, as she wrote about in her story just published in The Ultimate Christmas (I know, shameless plug).

Still, even with all of the sometimes encumbering events, Christmas is about being with family, so it was a little strange to spend another Christmas without my own family. I did get to talk to my parents and then later my sister Nancy on the phone, though, which was nice. And my mom even talked me through some of things that she was doing to get the house ready for the dinner when my brothers and Nancy and their families would be coming over--so, like reading a story with good descriptions, she kind of brought me there with her words. The snowmen were lined up on the shelves and the little village was set out on the desk. The Christmas tree was up and in the family room, with only two stockings this year--one for Mom and one for Dad. What a change that is! She was shaking out the table cloth. Does this look like the right side up? And even better than reading, I got to hear her voice.

On Christmas day in 1995, we ate at the Relief Society president's house, and since she was actually an American, her house was pretty dec'd out, so it did feel a little more homey for the American in me. I also got to talk to my family that day, too. My strongest memory of that day, however, was that we just sat around for what felt like hours--I'm not sure how long it was, actually, but it felt like way too long. And we weren't really doing anything. I hated being idle, so I kept suggesting that we go caroling or something, but nobody was willing to go with me, and missionaries can't just do things alone, aside from the fact that caroling alone is just weird. So I remained crammed on the couch, trying not to get too close to an Elder, and not feeling like much of a missionary, particularly on Christmas. Besides, I really did want to sing. I played the piano in sacrament meetings in that ward, so I didn't get to sing much at all those months in Evry.

Yesterday, however, I did get to sing. And it was wonderful! What a great blessing for me. A girl in one of the colonial wards had posted on the general listserv that she was going to sing in the hospital on Christmas morning and anyone was welcome to come. That just sounded awesome, so I prayed I'd get up on time, and Heavenly Father lovingly answered that prayer. The four other people who came along were great company and had great singing voices, and the girl who had posted even played the guitar along the way, which added a sweet sound.

But the best part of course, was seeing the happy faces of those unfortunate individuals who had no choice but to be out of their homes and idle on the great holiday. We saw some radiating faces, including an elderly woman, probably in her 80s or 90s, who was just a huge smile the whole time. Another woman who had something that prevented her from speaking, wrote us a thank you note on her clipboard and tapped her foot as we sang. What a great treat that was.

Then later in the day, I was also blessed with the opportunity to spend time with a family, friends of mine. A couple weeks ago, when we celebrated the mother's retirement, the friend who prayed the blessing on the food called us a strange family in the prayer. It was kind of funny at the time, but I think his point was that we're all kind of a family though we grew up in different families. And it's true. They're great people, the Rogers, and I'm so glad they opened their home and their hearts to me.

Like my day in Evry, the meal was not "traditional," but that was just fine. I had turkey about a month ago. The laid back atmosphere and feeling like family was the most important thing about the season definitely rang true yesterday. So while I hope next year I can be with my own family, this year was a merry Christmas still. I am so very blessed.

Car Key Adventure

My car has a safety feature that is supposed to keep you from locking your keys in. That is, you're not supposed to be able to lock the door while it's open. And so for the first little while that I owned my car, I ignorantly waited until I was out of the car, then locked it with the key. (They also didn't give my automatic locks with the little button keychain contraption, which was a major disappointment, but that's another story.)

However, it wasn't too long before I noticed that sometimes the door would manage to lock before I closed the door, and soon realized it was when I was still holding the handle open from the inside. That is, if I pressed down the lock at the same time as I had the handle out for opening the door, it locked, so I didn't have to use the key. Once I figured that out, I have been locking the door without the key--for the past five and a half years. Never once have I locked my car keys in the car.

Until Thursday.

I went to the BYU Management Society luncheon in DC in the morning (it started at 12:00. I left in the morning). For some reason I felt I really needed to go, though I'm not sure why exactly. I mean it was good--perhaps worthy of another post. But anyway, since I was running late, I decided to drive to the metro station closest to DC where I could park, which was Pentagon City. It also has the highest parking fee. But since it's in a mall garage, once I realized I could validate parking, I figured it was worth it. It's Christmas season, after all. Surely there must be something I could buy.

But I was selfish, bought something for myself, and something that even contradicts my personal standards. (I've deleted the post that indicates what this personal standard is, but for those of you who remember, it has to do with clothes and has nothing to do with modesty.) And so I was punished. Maybe.

On my way home from the mall, I stopped at a gas station in Alexandria city, kind of near a place I used to live, so I was familiar with the area, and it also had the cheapest gas I'd seen around --at $1.63. Not bad, huh? (Across the street it was $1.64, but when I came back later in the evening, they'd dropped to $1.61. I suppose you never can keep up.)

I'd been pretty warm in the mall, and I'd gotten a sweet parking spot--the closest possible to Macy's in the covered parking. So my coat was off, laying on the passenger seat. But I could really feel the cold once I started the gas pumping so I was going to just sit back in my car and wait, when Wait! I can't open the door. What? I locked the door, and there on top of my coat sat my purse, which had my cell phone and every phone number I could possibly need, and my keys. Yikes.

So I ran into the the gas station and told them the dilemma. The nice manager, an Indian man in his 60s or 70s teased me a bit. "You have a spare key in your house? It will cost $100 or more to get a locksmith." Eesh.

"Yes, I think I know I have a spare key, and I think I know where it is."

"Do you want to call someone?"

"I have two roommates, but their phone numbers are in my phone. I don't know them."

"You don't know your roommates' phone numbers?" He was surprised. "Do you have a house phone? You could yell at the answering machine for someone to pick up."

"We have a house phone, but I don't know that number either. It's my roommate's, so I don't give it out."

"You don't know your house phone number?"

Luckily a man checking out defended me, "I don't know my wife's phone number. I just scroll to it and pop. Push the button."

"Oh, so that's how it works these days. Nobody knows their friends' numbers."

I guess he didn't have a cell phone. Some people, I suppose are not as connected. This digital world isn't quite as completely digital as we sometimes like to convince ourselves, perhaps.

"Do you have a job?"

"No. I'm looking."

"Oh, no no. No job. Looking for a husband, too, right?"

"Of course." I smiled and laughed.

"Maybe God wanted you to lock your keys in your car, so we could meet?" (He was kind of a funny guy, at least.) "Well, if you can't get a hold of anyone, you can come sleep at my house--don't worry, I have a separate bed."

Ha ha. But seriously, he told me later he would have taken me all the way to my house, which was a few miles away and since it was kind of close to rush hour, it would have been a long haul. But since my house key was also on my key chain, he figured that wouldn't have worked so well.

I didn't think the Sonoco would have the internet, but I knew the internet would have my friends' numbers. So I asked if they knew anywhere nearby that might have it. They looked stumped, so I decided just to wander around, over to the outdoor mall just a few yards away. Someone had to have some means to the internet.

I thought I vaguely remembered that maybe an old friend's dad owned a store in the corner, so I headed to that corner, but that store wasn't there. Ah. No, that was another outdoor mall near another place where I used to live. Yeah, I've lived in too many places. But aha! In that corner, there was a Kodak place. And lo and behold, they even had a computer with internet access right there in their lobby.

Answers to prayers!

I sent an email to my roommates, then found a phone number, and ran back to the Sonoco to call. Then waited and waited. Maybe I should have gotten the other roommate's number, too. Though Angelee was more likely to be home around the 4:00 hour when this was taking place, she had lost her phone last I heard. So I ran back to the Kodak place to get a few more phone numbers. And then, just as I had written them down, I turned to find the nice Indian face standing beside me. He'd come to get me so I didn't have to walk back in the cold. Ah. what a nice man.

Back at the Sonoco, I placed a few more calls, left a few messages, and chatted with the nice man for awhile. He had never married, had no children, but did have a few brothers and they had children. He liked being a good uncle, particularly to his one brother's daughter, but she'd decided to go out with a boy he didn't approve of so she wasn't speaking to him. Very sad. But he did have other brothers to spend time with. He was very close to his mother, but she'd passed away a few years ago. So now it was just him. He seemed to have a really positive attitude about everything, though. Very upbeat. Nice to meet new people, see the world through other people's eyes for a brief time. Maybe God did want me to lock my keys in my car so I could meet him.

Then I remembered some other people who might have keys to my house and might be home, so the nice Indian man (I never did get his name) drove me back to the Kodak place where they welcomed me warmly again. All kinds of friends to be made, huh? Then he drove me back and I made a few more calls. Finally, yeah! I got a hold of Carrie, my wonderful, sweet roommate. She hadn't found the spare where I thought it was, but she was coming to get me.

I knew she had something going on that night so I was so grateful she was able to come. And it had been awhile since we'd talked with all of our comings and goings. And in answer to prayers, again, I found my spare shortly after I got home. Carrie had to go out, as I'd thought, but when she came back, she was so kind to take me back and get my car. Everything worked out just fine. And really, it was all in answer to other prayers that I get a little exercise (which I did, running back and forth between Kodak and Sonoco places, as well as earlier that day to get to the BYU luncheon), that I have things to do outside my apartment and visit with people.

I didn't quite get a job out of it, but I guess I can't have everything. Still, it wasn't such a bad punishment for my selfish purchase, after all.

Happy Birthday Mom and Dad!

My parents birthdays are ten days apart, and I was neglectful of remembering my blog on my mom's birthday, but alas my dad's has come along and I remembered, so I'll combine! They're married, so they're one anyway, right?

First my mom since her birthday was first.
My mom is amazing! She is the definition of organization and time management. She has charts and lists and records of everything, to help her keep track of her 8 children, her husband, and now her 19 grandchildren, I'm sure. My fond memories of her include: drawing lessons she gave me one summer when I was in elementary school (That was part of a one-on-one time project with all of her children, and I loved learning to draw from her.); Playing with her old Barbies in her bedroom; Shopping with her and sharing the handle of the buggy as we scooted around the store; Many telephone conversations; Reading her cute poems; and more recently, her visit out to see me in 2004 even though she was scared to death of the traffic and everything. I love you Mom!

And now my dad since he's second. And today!
My dad is also amazing! He has a fun sense of humor that I think I picked up on a little. And he's fun to watch with his grandchildren. They seem to love him, too. He's very easy-going and loving. Some of my favorite memories with my dad include: going to see the Princess Bride in the theater (you might not remember, but it wasn't a box office hit. To me, this was doing something a little unusual that I knew my dad would like and being pleasantly surprised that I really liked it too.); Learning how to drive in cold Colorado mornings on the way to seminary; short and sweet father messages at Family Home Evening (Be Good); Getting lost on the way home from the airport; Talking on the telephone, in the living room, in their bedroom; Getting his kind letter to me while I was on my mission; Hearing his testimony of how much he loves my mom; Learning a few Swedish words from him when I was a kid; and so many more! I love you Papa!

Seeing Sky-Blue Pink

Seeing Sky-blue Pink by Candice F. Ransom

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
This is a beautiful story. Lots of great images and lyrical writing. Candice is my friend, so perhaps I'm biased, but I don't think so. I think this book is worthy of attention. It's more character-driven and episodic than a lot of books I read, though it has a uniting conflict element. Some young children might have trouble understanding a book that isn't as plot-driven, but they will surely love the language and the little adventures Maggie goes on. A nice hark back to the family stories by great authors like E. Nesbit, Elizabeth Enright, Edward Eager, whom I learned to appreciate in the families class at Hollins. (Candice was in that class, and though this book just came out, it appears it was in the works already at that time, and she didn't say anything! She's definitely a humble woman, and funny as heck! If you have a chance to meet her, I would recommend it.)


View all my reviews.

Bronze Dragon Codex, review

Bronze Dragon Codex by R.D. Henham

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
I loved this book. I thought the moral of the story was unique and refreshing, and the writing quality was excellent. I'll confess I originally bought the book because my friend from Hollins wrote it (Amie Rotruck), so partly for curiosity and partly desire to support her. I don't usually read a lot of dragon books. But I'm glad I did because I was thoroughly impressed. Way to go Amie!


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Seeing the Blue Between

Seeing the Blue Between: Advice and Inspiration for Young Poets by Paul B. Janeczko

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
This is a great book for teaching about poetry. The different featured poets share their sometimes contradictory opinions about poetry, which gives the reader a broad scope of perspectives on the subject. And the poems, too, provide a broad scope of the genre, as well as being cute, clever, and enlightening. The targeted audience is obviously children, but it doesn't need to be.


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Another Inadvertent Advertisement

Since it seems the big publishers in Utah like to have full paper copies of your manuscript for consideration, and since the last time I printed the whole thing I ran out of black ink and had to print about 100 pages in color (sorry Hillary!) for my thesis advisor, I decided to look into printing it at a shop. This would also save me from nursing the printer since I can only print like 20 pages at a time from my little baby.

Yeah. I called Kinko's. The guy said it would be $25 for my 252 pages. Eesh. I guess it makes sense. And even thinking about the competition of myself doing it, I realized that it wouldn't be that much less for the paper and the ink cartridges I'd go through. But eesh. Eager for a sale, he continued "if you print multiple copies, you might get a discount." "Okay, how about five?" "[numbers, numbers, numbers, calculation words, numberes] comes to about $99--that's 40% off!" Eesh. Do I really want five copies? Is simultaneous submission really worth $100?

When money's tight, I have a hard time justifying that. He concluded by telling me they price matched, so if I found it cheaper anywhere else, they'd match the price. Well, that's nice, I thought. Thanks. But eesh was still running through my brain. Maybe I'll try to publish on the national market where I'd only have to worry about the first three chapters.

So I know there's one Utah/unofficial LDS publisher that accepts emailed ms's, but their Author Questionnaire kind of indicated they wanted any sequels to be ready within a year. That's another eesh. (Though if you're reading this, sorry. I might still try you :). I have even gone ahead and started writing the sequel.)

That was a few days ago I called. But today, after this over two months of unemployment, well, let's just say I might still consider petitioning Congress on that bill. Seriously, we're in a recession. If I'd known that when I was contemplating quitting my last temp agency, maybe I would have proceeded differently. I'm still not sure though. I've run the feelings I was having at that time over and over in my mind, and I'll admit I probably made a mistake. But it might have just been time to quite anyway. Regardless, in this slump of job searching, I've of course thought that if my book sells, I might make some money, probably more than enough to cover that $25 dollars to print it. Finally today, I decided to go ahead and print it.

After making sure the latest copy was saved on my stick, ready to take to Kinko's, I had this other thought. Hm. They match prices. That must mean there are other companies. Duh, I knew that. At the job I had from February through June this year, I had to call several copy places to see if they would do a certain kind of print job and then again to see if they had a certain cartridge. Both times, I ended up walking quite a distance, once in a terrible downpour in my worst pair of shoes with a cruddy umbrella. Maybe that's why I blocked it.

But hey, it's not raining today. Thanks for unblocking me Kinko's! So, where are these, your competitors? I quickly did a Google search "copy centers near 22306," and a list pulled up. Staples. Well, that kind of makes sense. This other place on Belleview, near where I live. Interesting. I called them both--both had better deals than Kinko's. Staples had $.09 per page plus $2 handling fee. The Belleview place $.07 per page and $5 handling fee. Wow. Belleview was closer. That sounded pretty decent, even, too.

In the mean time, I had another errand to take care of in Old Town Alexandria, so I headed up there to take care of that, then was just going to stop by Belleview on the way back. But lo and behold, on my way to the building in Old Town, I see ABC printing on the corner--same building. Since I'm here, I might as well ask, I thought. Good thing I did too. $.07 per page and no handling fee. Wahoo. Now if that don't beat all.

So, of course I could get a quote from them and run it over to Kinko's. Riiight.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Did everyone have a great Turkey day? I had a nice one, thanks.
Thinking about thanks this week has actually been a great blessing. I was ready to post a message about how Congress should pass some law so that I don't have to look for work because it's not helping me in my pursuit of happiness. I know what you're thinking--I don't have to look for work. But the alternatives would result in an even greater difficulty toward my pursuit of happiness. So you're wrong. Ha! Nonetheless, I know I'm wrong too. As indicated before, the inclusion of opposition in our lives is all toward the end that many might have joy, so I am thankful for it on this week of thanks. I am also grateful for many more things. I have been greatly blessed during this time that my money dwindles and my need for employment magnifies itself in my daily life. I've had great friends helping me out not only with meals, but also with smiling faces and hugs and understanding, as well as expressions of appreciation for my talents and service. I'm also grateful for the Church. What a great blessing to be a member of it! To have a perspective on life that it offers me and to know about my Savior. But also for the temporal blessings they offer during financial struggles, and opportunities they provide to serve so that I don't feel as deeply in debt as I might otherwise. I also have an incredibly wonderful family--the best two parents on the whole planet, I would venture to say. There are at least seven people who would agree with me, but I think even more if they knew my parents. I'm sure Heavenly Father was wise to give them to me. And so, so many more things, that I can hardly even count. What are you grateful for?
(P.s. I would still be even more grateful if you know of work I can do and you pass it on :) )

All About Me

I'm not a big fan of Beaches, nor do I remember this line myself, but a friend of mine used to quote it, and I think it's cute and appropriate for today. When the girls are young and just getting to know each other, one of them, after speaking at length about herself, says, "Enough about me. What do you think about me?"

A couple months ago I bought this book I'm an English Major--Now What? And in the first chapter, one of the things the author suggests is that you have a meeting with your friends where they write down your qualities on a piece of paper to give to you. I think the idea is for anonymity or something.

Oh no! I just remembered--it's so that people don't influence each other. Well, I screen all comments before they post anyway, so if you don't see any comments that doesn't necessarily mean no one has--it just means I haven't accepted them yet. So we can maintain that.

So, anyway, of course, if I had friends all in the same room, we could actually talk at great length about me after the straw poll, or uh, paper thing. Fun, fun. But since many of my friends are hither and yon, and since gathering a meeting about myself even for local friends feels a little excessive, I'll shoot out the question on here--

what are my most marketable skills? And for good measure, go ahead and tell me something I could do to improve my marketability. I'm not looking for suggestions about careers, just skills.

This might look like an ulteriorly motivated post to see who's actually reading, but I really do want to know. If you want to post anonymously, that's okay, too. Thank you!

Veterans' Day

I have some free time! Of course I should probably be doing something else, but I have a tinge of a migraine and can't concentrate on too much else. Pictures are usually okay though. Last Tuesday, Veterans' Day, Carrie invited friends over for games. For a few hours, Irene and Ken were our only guests, so we got into a really long train game. It was lots of fun, even though I ended the game stuck at the end of a road that I didn't have enough money to continue building. It actually felt way too much like a parallel to my life, so I'm glad they called the game and it ended there. The nice thing about a game--next time I'll know better.

Happy Birthday to Kim!

I'm a few days late for this, but my big sister had her 37th birthday earlier this week. Wow. She's getting old. He he.

Some of my favorite memories of Kim include hanging out with her when she lived in Orem and I in Provo in the early 90s. We did fun things, too, but she was also there to let me stay in her apartment both to take care of me and to keep me away from noise and stairs in my own after my car accident in 93. Not too long after that, she met, started dating and married her husband, so I had fun getting to know him a little bit too. This is a picture from shortly after they were engaged, in my apartment at that time, 94.

Since then, I've also had good memories with Kim, and her kids. Most recently, she took me up to Alberta for my grandpa's funeral. It was great to spend time with her family on that road trip from SLC on up. She's a great big sister! Happy Birthday Kim!

Photo Tag

Thanks to Sarah Jarvie for this. I've been feeling bad about neglecting my blog. It's not exactly that I haven't had time. I have lots of time without a job. But in that lots of time I have, I like to be either looking for work, applying for work, working on my thesis essay or my novel. And if that's not enough to keep anyone busy, there's always the nagging Tetris game that just has to be played. Seriously. :)

But I do miss writing in here a little. And this was an easy tag, too. Curiously, it also happens to continue with the subject of my last entry: my brother John.

The rules are to include the fourth photo in the fourth file in your computer. And this shot with my brother watching some TV with his son Josiah happens to be that. Yeah John!

I tag anyone that wants to do it.

Happy Birthday John!

So I know I've been keeping this blog for awhile now and some of my family members' birthdays have past in the time, but I'm just now piecing things together and realizing that that thing I see some other bloggers do--like wishing people other than themselves happy birthday on their blogs--is a good idea. So, sorry other folks, but yeah for John! My favorite brother John! (I have a favorite brother David and a favorite brother Thom, too.) But you get to be the first!

Today is the big 31 for little John! (well, not so little. I think he's the tallest boy).
I didn't get a very good family shot last Christmas, but at least I got one, right?
The one below is a little more classic John, giving me that look that says, "Heidi, you're nuts, but I love ya, so I'll put up with ya." And that brings me to this--what are my favorite things about John? He's got a great sense of humor, a great smile and laugh to go with it--full of energy and optimism. He doesn't take himself too seriously and gives great hugs--and punches and self defense, demobilization moves, too--all in terms of affection.

Some of my favorite memories of John are his climbing up on top of the living room closet, him letting me braid his hair into millions of tiny little braids (this was when he was in high school and actually had hair), hanging out in Fort Collins and letting me teach him how to get his date's door, and then after I graduated from college and lived at home for awhile, we drove to Greeley together quite a bit for church things and had some good conversations.

I love you little bro and miss you! Hope you have a good birthday!

The Church's position on Prop 8

I found this on a friend's blog--good to know! I don't know if Cameron follows me--but thanks!
http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-divine-institution-of-marriage

Some More connections, thoughts, proposition 8

I've continued to think about the subject, and a few more thoughts have come to mind. The connections are kind of hinted at, but I didn't even fully make them in my brain until this morning.
Interestingly, it's kind of a flip from the opinions I've read about leaving the decision about who they'll marry to the religions. But that's actually it exactly. In order to assure their right to the pursuit of happiness, or their agency, homosexuals should be allowed to "marry" if they choose to call it that, in their private circumstances, be it religiously or whatever, but let the rights and privileges be bound only within the religion and not be connected to the state.

That is, inasmuch as religion is an institution of state, this implies financial and legal obligations to its protection and to the protection of the participating parties. This is justified because marriage has been determined to have positive influences on the governed people, at least inasmuch as they service the children of the nation. Other thoughts have come to me that even without children, the unit of marriage benefits society in its best practice because marriages bring together the minds of both sexes in a way that no other organization can, and the uniting of the sexes' gifts and ways of thinking is a benefit to society.

Therefore, in order to justify the expenditures of government on the marriages of homosexual couples (inasmuch as it has been determined the government does expend), it would need to be proven that these unions add to society in the same way that the unions of heterosexuals do. Because these unions do not bring together the minds of both sexes, and the raising of children within such has not been determined to benefit society in the same way, then there is no justification for the inclusion of these unions under the government's protective and promotional measures as are instituted for the cause and institution of marriage.

Additionally, inasmuch as government funds are involved in the decision to include these unions in the legal definition, the voice of the people must be sought. Therefore, the judges exercised decisions outside of their powers, and the votes of the people should stand for the determination to maintain the definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman.

California's Proposition 8

My aunt sent an email with a link to a blog that was passing on information about an interfaith fast today for Proposition 8. The blogger indicated in her post that the Church supported the proposition, and then there were a number of commentators from both sides jabbing each other about the issue. So, I'm going to start off by saying that I don't think I have that many readers who will be prone to comment, but if for whatever reason outsiders or insiders find this and want to comment, I welcome positive thoughts, particularly logical, kind-hearted notes and pieces of factual information. I do allow comments from anyone; however, I moderate them before they show up, so if you have unkind things to say, I might read them, but no one else will in this forum.

What I'd like to do here is explore a few things surrounding the issue and the Church's support (if this is indeed true. Today, as happens every October during political parading season, the bishop read the statement from the First Presidency reminding members of its political neutrality. It even had a line that I hadn't remembered hearing before that indicated members of both political parties had beliefs consistent with the teachings of the Church. That was good to hear.)

So, on to my reasoning:
A number of people both on the blog I read and in general when I've read things regarding this issue, point out the connection of marriage and religion, many trying to emphasize the connection, but without making logical points of connection and separation. The facts are that marriages can be made by religious officials and by state officials. Religions may have their opinions and enforce them about who they may marry, but the binding forces on the marriage are different between state and religion based on the authority of each of these offices.

Let's consider for a moment, how the nation would be affected if marriage were only an institution of religion. Since money is created and governed by the state, the religion could not enforce any monetary obligations on either member of the marriage party. This would mean there would be no such things as alimony, joint tax filings, or marriage-related tax breaks or tax increases. . I don't know enough about child support but it shouldn't be connected to marriage, so hopefully that wouldn't be affected, but otherwise, a wife would not have legal claim on her husband, nor a husband on his wife.

Given this much, it seems as if the state would have much fewer hassles, fewer forms, and monetary trials if they weren't associated with marriage.

Therefore, there must be a benefit to the state if they want to have some governance over the issue. In the case of financial crisis, perhaps the institution benefits them inasmuch as it creates jobs: tax people to handle all the ins and outs mentioned above; family-type lawyers and their associated workers to handle divorces and alimony.

But, well, I kind of think there's probably more to it than that. True enough, some governments might look to create a number of useless institutions just for the sake of jobs, but tax-payers don't like to pay for new institutions the government finances. And yet people haven't fussed about the government having government-paid people to handle the records associated with it--marriage licenses, etc. so the people must also like nor not mind that the state has governance over marriage. Given the above financial reasons, it seems it is in the people's interest to maintain the connection, so inasmuch as it is already an institution, it would be difficult for the government to remove the connection given the potential outcry of its people.

Now, to go back a minute, if there had never been a connection, what would be some benefits for a government to regulate marriage? (Supposing a new country were to form, for example.) Given statistics and study findings from existing countries in which marriage is a common institution (regardless the state vs. religion regulations), it would seem that marriage provides an assurance for the better education of its people. That is, there have been studies to indicate that children who live with married parents perform better in school. Therefore, this would indicate that promoting marriage would be a benefit to the state.

Along with this, although divorce is widespread, inasmuch as studies indicate the greater likelihood of parents to stay together if they are married than if they are not, this would add to the benefit of promoting marriage.

Do these pieces of information, however, indicate that governing marriage would be in their interest? This is a multi-faceted question. First, does governance constitute promotion? Not directly, no. Because government could decide against tax breaks and joint filings and still govern marriage, and in fact create tax increase to married couples, this would indicate that governance does not directly correlate with promoting marriage.

However, government can more effectively promote marriage by governing, or taking jurisdiction over it. Given the benefits to the people indicated earlier, such as the assistance with alimony as needed, and other financial benefits, such as potential tax breaks, some people would be more prone to marry than they would be if the governing of marriage worked against their favor. Therefore, yes, inasmuch as those studies are accurate, it would be in the government's interest not just to regulate marriage but to pass such laws as would promote it.

Questions also arise about the interest in government of regulating marriage for those couples who do not have children whose education they are influencing, but about this, I don't know how to approach an argument in one way or the other. I'm sure there are people out there with significant facts in both directions, but my knowledge is limited. Even what information I have provided I recognize is all looking at things somewhat "logically" only, therefore idealistically, and also with only the perspectives of my limited knowledge of how government affects marriage. Although I am aware of a number of perspectives and have tried and will try to consider them as I continue, I cannot possibly take into account the numerous perspectives and attitudes given the immensity of the voting public.

So, we've come to the point that it seems it is in government's best interest to maintain regulation over marriage and to promote it. But the question on the ballot is not this but rather how to define marriage. So, if the reasoning I have provided were sufficient and complete to the end of the government regulating marriage, looking at this information, which definition of marriage would be more beneficial to the government's scope of influence over marriage? That is, some of have said, as I indicated earlier, that this definition should rest within the realm of religious influence rather than the states. However, inasmuch as the government has jurisdiction over marriage, and all things over which government has influence must be defined, the argument of leaving this definition alone to religion is not possible.

So, the points that make marriage a benefit to government:
1. (within a government in which marriage is already governed) to avoid an outcry from the people whom it benefits.

2. to promote the education of its children/rising generation who will be its workers and leaders in later years.

How would the definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman alone respond to number 1?
Since there has already been an outcry regarding this aspect of the definition, and the people have voted in several states, including the state in which the question has arisen, that marriage be defined as between a man and a woman, then it would stand in the government's best interest to follow the voice of the people.

How would the definition of marriage as being the union of two people regardless their gender respond to number 1?
Given that government has instituted benefits for marriage, those who are not able to participate in these benefits feel they are being unfairly treated and therefore they are crying out for change so they can participate in these benefits. The question then is, are these benefits rights of the governed people, or privileges? Do all people have a right to these benefits simply because they love another person? This leads to the reasons for the benefits being established, which, within my limited knowledge, seems to hinge more directly on number 2.

So, no. 2. How would the definition of marriage as being a union between a man and a woman alone respond to no. 2?
Studies would have to indicate that the marriage between a man and a woman significantly impacted their children's productivity and that the children of another union did not or even impacted the children negatively. Given the number of factors that contribute to such a study, this would be difficult.

How would the definition of marriage as being a union between two people of whatever gender respond to no. 2?
Studies would have to indicate that the children of such a union were negatively impacted being raised by parents of the same gender. The studies could not focus on single parenthood and therefore not of one gender or the other, but specifically of the raising of a child with two parental units of the same gender.

While the reasoning has led me in interesting directions, I have to say that even as I write about the idea of two parents of the same gender, I feel bothered enough to removes "logic" from the picture. But it does make me wonder about the definition of another word that seems to be involved in this equation: parent. BioLogically, the parents of any child consist of a man and a woman. No scientific experimentation has ever produced a child with the uniting reproductive cells of two men or of two women. Therefore, any meddling with this definition is artificial. Does the state have the right, then, to govern the definition of parent?

In some instances, it seems to have taken this within its jurisdiction--inasmuch as children or parents can be "disowned"--removed from financial obligations, and inasmuch as companies/agencies are allowed to give children to a single parent in an adoption circumstance. The very nature of giving a child up for adoption seems to indicate a legal removal of the title "parent" thereby leaving some children without parents of either gender. And I would not argue against adoption. It is good that some biological parents do not have legal rights to parent their children. So there is good reason for the state to have some say about this definition. But as far as defining what kind of parents a child can be given to, it seems natural laws would indicate a better circumstance consists in the unity of two people of opposite sexes parenting a child.

So, all of this also reminds me of a significant point I've left out--the constitution argument about people's right to the pursuit of happiness--the argument that seems to have led to this second time around of this vote on the California ballot. The point the judges made was that by denying marriage to homosexual couples, the state was discriminating against their right to the pursuit of happiness. So, the question is begged that the marriage between two homosexuals constitutes a step in the direction of their pursuing happiness. And yet, we have no factual data to indicate that the unnatural union of two people constitutes movement in the direction of happiness. With this, there would have to be studies to indicate a few things, actually--that homosexual people are actually happier when they are married than when they are not (which would be impossible given the illegality of this), and that they are happier being homosexual than pursuing a direction of trying to become heterosexual.

Of course proving that any activity contributes to the pursuit of happiness would be a rather difficult course to pursue, including many of the rights we enjoy. Perhaps, though, embedded in this statement in the constitution is the realization that sometimes the pursuit of happiness entails allowing people to pursue whatever they will, even if it leads to unhappiness, because from their unhappy course they are essentially learning how to find the happy course, which brings the whole thing full circle to indicate that any activity at all can constitute pursuit of happiness and the statement really means only that people need to be allowed their agency. And yet we know that absolute agency does not promote the happiness of everyone. For example, if murder were not illegal, because we had to allow the murdered their agency, few people would agree this promoted the pursuit of happiness sufficiently.

Therefore, the argument of allowing gay marriage with the reason of allowing pursuit of happiness would also have to indicate that the people whose lives their union would influence, such as children they would be permitted to adopt (including the other in a party in which one was the biological parent), were also permitted a greater chance at pursuing happiness than they would be if they were placed in homes with parents of both genders. And I don't think any study has indicated this. But again, we come full circle because we don't know what would constitute the pursuing of happiness for these children.

So, I'm not sure exactly what my logic has led to, but these last points do bring up another point that I had hoped to explore, that of agency as it relates to the Church's position on things. Because the Church promotes free agency--recognizing that this is one of the greatest gifts of God--in most cases, the Church would not support laws that took away from others' agency. In the Book of Mormon, in one of the stories, there's a passage that indicates there were no laws in the particular government at that time that could bind a man to believe in God, so although such a man was trying to influence others not to believe in God, the government could do nothing to restrain him. And because the laws were originally established by people who wanted to follow God, we are led to recognize that man's agency is of utmost importance, until it leads to terrible things, such as murder (which happened in this case I think).

So, if the Church is indeed in favor of this proposition, it must be because it will actually lead to the removal of agency. It seems hard to see this because it initially promotes agency, but on the blog that I read originally, one of the commentators actually indicated that indeed the passing of such definition of non-gender-defined marriage had impacted others rights to religious freedom and other rights of agency, with one example regarding adoption. I don't remember the specifics, but the person's logic and facts seemed to be sound, and it was also interesting that the person indicate he was himself gay and in favor of this proposition for those reasons.

Well, so there are my thoughts. I guess my conclusion has to rest on my own feelings because logic without sufficient information, which it seems there cannot even be given the nature of the issues, won't lead me to any conclusion. And so, although this isn't an issue on my current ballot, I have to say I still believe I voted well when it was on the ballot in Virginia a couple years ago. Best of luck to you in your thinking.

Choose Your Own Adventure

Yesterday I took a walk in my neighborhood. I've taken walks before, but I decided to find new paths, so I first took this path I found, from a small entrance on the side of the street into a little wooded area. I followed the path for awhile, but soon found the path seemed to have been covered over. I thought it might pick up again, especially since I thought it might connect to another path I'd been on before. I kept going, and indeed found evidences of a path. But eventually, the shrubbery came up to high and I had no choice but to turn around.

Back on the road, though a little further down the road from where I entered, I continued on my way. I hadn't been gone very long, after all.

Soon enough, I found the little wooded park (and I mean little) with the path I'd taken before. It forked right at the entrance. And since I knew, from taking it before, that going left led me quite a ways from home, I decided to take the path to the right and see how close it got me, also curious to see if it connected to the other wooded area.

They might have. But I didn't find out. A chain link fence ran along the middle of the woods on my left as I walked the whole way. And before long, another chain link fence came up on the right, separating the woods from people's yards and homes. That was fine. The pathed area got smaller. That was fine. But eventually, I got to a place where it looked like the fences merged. I kept walking though, maybe out of curiosity or maybe determination. Curiously, the fences didn't merge, and the path continued between them. The path was the whole width of the space between the fences, just a few feet, like a typical path, but it was enough. Kind of fun to explore, I thought. Kind of fun. As i continued, quite a few branches from trees hung over

But well, eventually, the path on the left folded over onto the fence on the right. I could have fit and crawled along the path below the folded over area. It didn't seem too long. But it looked as if the path narrowed significantly afterward. I stopped for a few minutes, wondering if I should try, if it was worth it. Finally I turned around and went all the way back.

But I don't regret going. It kind of felt like a Choose Your Own Adventure book I used to read when I was a kid. Of course I never gave up and stopped reading when I died: got bitten by a snake, sank in quick sand, poisoned by a comrade, or ran into a dead end. I just turned around and picked up where I left off. Perhaps, I thought as I was turning around yesterday, reading those books even gave me some courage to try new things for curiosity. If all else failed, I could just turn around and try something else.

Of course, sometimes I'm not courageous enough, but it's one example of good things books have done.

National Book Festival

I have a few things I want to blog about, including some tags/memes, but I promised my personal journal on Sunday when I didn't spend much with it that I'd blog about the book festival then copy and paste into it.

So! I've attended the national book festival for the past three years, but for the first time this year I had a friend to go with! Yeah! My temporary roommate Kim. I'm so glad she came with me, too. We had a great time.

We left our apartment around 10:30ish and arrived 11:15, early for the first speaker I wanted to see, Neil Gaiman, so we wandered around the Pavilion of States for a little while. This is one place where it was good to have a friend with me because in years past I've gone to every single state booth with lofty ambitions about seeing where great books were coming from, find great new titles, and uh, getting the freebies. My first year I went late enough in the day that I actually got a free book from Alabama? Toning the Sweep by Angela Johnson--a really good book, too, that I'd read a few years previously and liked. Actually, this year we got free books, too, between the Metro stop and the festival a few girls were handing out books, but I don't know the author. Nice catch, though. I'll never complain about free books! At the Pavilion of States, though no free books, I did get this fancy-schmancy bracelet from Colorado! My first ever of these popular plastic/rubber things and from my home state. Yeah!

And thanks to Kim for not getting us caught up in the states, we made it to Gaiman's talk on time. Not in time to get good seats, but I'm not sure we would even have had seats if we'd tried sitting down half an hour early, when we arrived at the festival. He had a packed audience. We were in the back, as evidenced in my shot. I tried doing a zoom, but I couldn't angle the camera well enough, so that result was only a dark spot of canvas. Oh well. I was there, I promise!

One of the blogs I follow described his performance pretty well, so I won't try to top her: Read Write Believe . I will say that I'm pretty intrigued by The Graveyard Book, though. And it seems everyone else in attendance was as well, because it was sold out at the book sales tent. Oh well. I need to curb my book spending anyway, and although it was nice for him to cut some red tape to get the book sold at the festival a few days before it's release, I probably wouldn't have read it in those two days anyway, and even if I do buy it, I'm sure I can get a better price than full anyway--thank you Borders for your many coupons, and Amazon for "used and new" independent sellers.

After Gaiman, we went over to see Doreen Kronin and Betsy Lewin, the collaborating team who produced the Click, Clack, Moo! series. But we arrived early and saw the last bit of David Shannon's presentation, author of No David! series. He was pretty funny. He drew a picture of David, explaining the reasoning for the shapes and attributes of all of his facial features. Jagged teeth because he doesn't brush and eats too much candy, triangle nose because it's been broken too many times, and a naughty eyebrow and an "I didn't mean to" eyebrow. Very clever. It was no surprise, seeing the real David, that the pictures were drawn of himself by himself when he was little. Definitely some resemblance.

So, we didn't have seats for Shannon, but hoped some people would clear out. No such luck. Only a small handful moved. We did sit though, insistent upon it after standing for the past hour or so, on the grass with the kiddies. Pretty good seat for me, got some good shots, but I guess some of the kiddos were a little too wiggly for Kim. Woops.

So about Kronin and Lewin--

Although they indicated they see each other once a year, their performance made it clear to me they weren't accustomed to working with each other. This didn't surprise me too much-- typically authors just send their manuscripts to the publisher and the publisher then to the illustrator and the author rarely has anything to say about the illustrations. But the odd thing about their show was that they seemed to be trying to work together, but they weren't. Kronin was taking the lead and seeming to forget that she had a partner, so Lewin would step in to remind the kids that illustrators were important too, and that just like they were all writers (as was the platform of many of the children's authors), they were also all illustrators.

I'm glad Lewin did step in to say this, though--it's very important for kids and everyone to realize all of their talents are worth developing. But as for the "everyone" thing, the jury is still out on this one. It came across a little trite to me, and while I would encourage all children and people to write, I'm not sure it's really doing them a service to tell them they are something if they really aren't. Will they live a life feeling like a failure because they just can't muster very good creative stories? Well, not too likely, but still, the fact that some people never will muster a very good creative story is evidence enough that the line is just a gimick. Come on. It's just bad rhetoric. But I guess in this world of bad rhetoric all over the political landscape, it's not surprising to find it in all fields. Okay, so there's my platform for you. They did a few things well, however. They involved the audience in helping to create afun story about a pig and a tiger. It was funny to hear the kids' responses.

After that, we were pretty ready for lunch, and well, hadn't though about planning in advance so got the over-priced mall food, a 3$ hot dog for me. Sheesh! And 6$ chicken and fries for Kim. Hers was a little more reasonable, and more filling, but I only had 4$ cash on me. She shared her fries. So nice.

The next speaker I wanted to see was good ol' Jon Scieszka, but he wasn't speaking until 2:45, so we had about an hour to kill. Fortunately, Doreen Rappaport and Kadir Nelson were slotted in that time frame and for about that long. And they were pretty good. Rappaport repeated that "everyone's a writer" thing, but otherwise, she did fine--lots of enthusiasm, and I loved how she explained all the research she did to find the story of Abraham Lincoln, showing how research and "homework" can be fun, which Nelson reiterated when he took the mike, making a nice unified presentation, though they hadn't apparently planned that. That is, curiously, unlike the previous author-illustrator duo, they made no pretense about working together. First she spoke, ending with her gratitude for a great illustrator to help tell the story, and then let him take over.

His part was really fun, too. He started off a little dry, telling about the research --dry sounding voice that is, but he actually did intrigue me about the research and homework needed for illustrating. Made me think more about that as a fun continuing-education job, that I would appreciate. But then he got fun, calling for volunteer children to come forward to be his models--one as the horse and one as Abraham Lincoln. The kid who played Abe made comments and corrections the whole time, telling him the head was too big, or Abe Lincoln didn't really look like that. It was pretty funny.

Then, finally, the highlight of the day! Jon Scieszka, recently chosen as the first ambassador of children's literature by the librarian of Congress. Sara also wrote about his: Read Write Believe . But I'll add that he also pushed his book about Trucks, still presenting himself as a versatile writer of many genres. And he was indeed, as funny in person as on the page. You'll have to go to the Library of Congress webcasts when they're up.

A Few of My Favorite Things

My Favorites Right Now Are:

Food: cookies

Drink: water

Fruit: bananas

Ice cream: moose tracks

Candy bar: Twix

Music: MoTab

TV Show: The Cosby Show

Movie:

Book: The Goose Girl

Sound: friends talking to me

Smell: vanilla and cotton

Sight: pretty things, natural

Touch: the pages of a book, friends' hands

Taste: brushed teeth

PB Follow-up, Floppy Transferral

Okay, so I actually wrote that pb post yesterday, but I was going to edit it last night and didn't. (So the yesterday's and today's make sense in it)

But the story continues. So, I was going to post that old poem into that post, thinking it was an old file I'd emailed to myself when I cleared out my last computer. But alas, the poem hadn't made it into that computer--only to an old floppy. I was almost devastated.

I have a number of files on old floppies, and some of them I've even wanted to find in the past year or so, but have been unable to retrieve them because so few computers have floppy drives any more. But wonder of wonders, I noticed the computer I'm on now--this temp assignment's computer--has a floppy drive! Hallelujah! And good timing too, because today is my last day here.

I brought in my bag of floppies this morning, not quite sure how to secure all those many files, but figuring emailing if nothing else. But then, great joy, I remembered I had a stick in my purse, a relatively new one with lots of free space. More Hallelujahs! And, transferring files from floppy to stick is something you can do while slapping stickers on folders. And yes, that's important. (I'm interspersing sticker slapping now, as I write in fact, as well--just in case you were interested.)

So this morning in no time I transferred the files from 6 floppies to my stick, and I still have tons of room on the stick. Amazing, technology is. I just hope sticks don't go out of fashion.

Anyway, so here's the poem:
Peanut Butter Biscuits Oct. 1993
PB biscuits brightened my hard day
When I cam home from class in the usual way
PB biscuits were so sweet to eat
I would like to have them for my afternoon treat
PB biscuits surprised me so much
When nothing but them could I eat for lunch
PB biscuits left my stomach full
After only a few--and that ain’t no bull.
PB biscuits can be your friend, too
When you feel so sad that your fingers turn blue
PB biscuits will warm you up nice
When you’re desperate enough to heed my advice.

Wow--I even call pb a friend back then, too. It must be true.

Missing Peanut Butter

I like peanut butter. I mean, I'm not in love with it, not going to marry it, probably not even date it. Honestly, it's just a friend! But I do like it, a lot. I like the taste and smell and texture, particularly crunchy. I like it in cookies and cakes and brownies and ice cream and yes, even sandwiches. I also like it on crackers and celery and pancakes. In college, many years ago, I wrote a poem about the peace and joy I received from eating peanut buttered biscuits. But oh! with all of these, the joy is doubled when you add chocolate to the mix. mmm MMM. Okay, so since there was some lip-smacking action, maybe we were really good friends.

But it doesn't matter, because it's all over anyway. See, unfortunately, a couple years ago I noticed my head start to tighten up when I'd eat certain things with peanuts, and eventually, eating peanuty things produced full-on migraines. No fun at all. Every once in awhile I'll be unable to resist and eat some peanut M&Ms are some small peanut thing, but I don't own any peanut butter any more.

For the most part, I've gotten by just fine without it. Dessert tables usually include plenty of non-peanuty treats, and I manage to avoid buying such for myself. My sandwiches have ham and cheese, which is probably better anyway, to help me with the calcium. Though peanut butter and cheese isn't really that bad, ham is probably a little less fattening.

Last night, however, I was rummaging for a snack and found the best option was some freezer waffles--low fat, I'll add, and with strawberries. They're pretty good. But I found what I really, really wanted to put on them was peanut butter. It was an interesting feeling, not a craving like I sometimes get for chocolate, that anxious feeling of needing chocolate like you see depicted in commercials all over the place. It was more of this melancholy feeling you get when you look at pictures of old friends. And as for a friend, I might have risked a migraine for it. But well, I couldn't really justify going to buy a whole tub. Still, last night, I was really missing my old friend peanut butter.

I settled for jam.

Wink, wink

So it’s the last day of summer, officially. Did I get my goals done? Nope. Well, I mean not the critical draft I’d hoped to get done. The writing is no further along than when I last wrote about it, but at least I did make progress on it this summer. However, I have continued reading. The books took a little longer to arrive than I'd expected, though still on time. But I have them all now and have started reading all three of them.

One of them I’d thought wasn’t worth it after a few pages, partly because there were about 10 winks per page and obnoxious dialog tags on a few pages, and the description of the campus and the new roommates meeting each other took over the plot, leaving no room for movement to the conflict—other than to repeat a few more times what continues to be repeated, and was already iterated from the beginning a few times, that the main female character had her heart broken and wants nothing to do with men. Kind of cliché in the first place.

But something told me to keep going, so I did, and I’ve actually found she’s done some things really well, with some reminders to me on things in my own story that I could stand to pump up a bit, like a physical description of the bishop and his counselors. Woops.

I also still don’t have much of a physical description of Dinah, my main female character. But this didn't require reminding. I knew that. I'm just not really sure what she looks like. But more than that, I’m not highly convinced that it’s significant. Somewhat, I suppose, but not the specifics. And maybe even her not being described has the significance I want. That is, I don’t want her to be incredibly beautiful, contributing to the myth that you have to be pretty to get a good guy. In fact, I actually did indicate, by comparison to the Melanie character, that she’s not overwhelmingly beautiful. But on the other hand, for the number of guys who consider her toward the end, reality dictates that she can’t really be a dog either. Is there anything wrong with letting the reader’s imagination take over completely there? Everyone has different ideas about what beautiful is, anyway. And frankly, with these romances that I’m reading, okay particularly this one I'm writing about now, the author describes the main female character's looks quite a bit--and quite a bit too often. It kind of makes me gag every time I hear about her beautiful hair cascading over her shoulders, and sunlight catching a sparkle in it. Maybe I’m not cut out for this romance crap, writing genre.

But I was talking about the good things the author’s done. She does have plenty of good descriptions of the surrounding area that 1. don’t mask the plot, and 2. keep her from having talking heads. Those are good things. And she does get over, to a certain degree, the need to reiterate the main female character’s worry about more heartaches. After the bombardment of winks, the plot does moves forward, too, with the characters getting to know each other and thereby revealing other significant aspects of their personalities to the reading audience. They do keep winking at each other, which gets really annoying, but otherwise she uses good verbs and good language. I don’t recall too many metaphors, or images like that, but the story moves along okay anyway.

So in the end, I might even say I'd recommend it to some young LDS people. I still need to finish it to be sure. As I've kind of indicated, I still have some issues with it, and even some I haven't mentioned. So, yes, I am all the more convinced that the LDS-romance-genre publishers could use some improvement in the editing department. However, I should also end saying I've got some issues with my own writing as well. It's not easy to write a novel, especially without the help of editors who know that people don't really wink at each other that much. Wink, wink.

Old book storage project

This post probably should have been written quite awhile ago, but I haven't been taking too many photos lately so these were sitting in my camera until today. But alas, here they are--from that project I mentioned awhile ago about my book storage improvement--I painted these crates that I received from a former co-worker back in 2004 when she downsized from a house to a condo, and I was living by myself and grateful for furniture. But they were just old crates, with some jagged splinters. So, having some free time when I came back from Roanoke before starting my first temp assignment, I sanded them down and painted them with some paint I bought back in 2002 when I was going to paint a room I changed my mind about moving into.
The weather was beautiful at that time, late July. I mean, as long as I didn't have to wear a suit that is :)--actually, it was nicer these days than that day, but i also wore shorts and a T-shirt.

And good thing the weather was good because I ended up needing to spend more time than expected outside the following day or two since I made a big mess on the patio. I probably should have looked harder for some plastic or newspaper or something I could lay down, but I was on half-brain mode or something. Instead, I ended up running to Home Depot where they laughed at my predicament and suggested some concrete cleaner, which I happily bought, along with some gloves and sponges. But when I got home and read the instructions, I realized this was stuff you needed a big machine for, like street cleaners. Uh-uh. Not buying or renting one of those. It said you could also try using a mop, so I ran across the street thinking I could buy one of those at the grocery store rather than running down to Home Depot again, but then surprised myself to realize we have a Lowe's right there. So I went in there, looking for a mop or something, and found this other, cheaper and easier paint cleaner thing, took it home and got to work. Most of the paint came off that afternoon. There are still a few peachish speckles, I think, but not too bad.

Now to add to the story, my book collection has also dwindled since this project, though I don't regret it by any means. But I happily remembered during the right season (August-September, text-book buying season) to list some old books on Amazon to sell. Net loss, of course, but at least I got some money back for books I haven't needed and don't care to keep. I love Amazon

Photoshop Phun

Sometimes on Sunday, tired of writing from the rest of the week, I like to mess around with photos I've taken in days past. That's something I did today. Here are a few images I'm pretty pleased with that I made today. Aren't they fun?

Due Date, Progress Report

Though the weather is cooling and school is in session, technically, summer still has just less than two weeks left. However, I gave myself a slightly earlier deadline for my summer goals, didn't I? Actually, looking at it now, I realize I was off a little. I'd been thinking it was today, but it was two days ago! Aaah! I'm further behind than I realized.

1. Finish creative draft of thesis (I'm giving myself til Sept 7)
--I'm close. Really. As we speak I'm on p. 172 of 251 in the final editing revision before I hand it back to my advisor.

2. Have a draft of my critical part
--I have 9 pages written and I've read most of the books I'm going to incorporate. I've ordered a couple more that I'm curious about, but they may or may not get included. I also have some quotes found. It's progress. Maybe a real sketchy draft by the end of the actual summer.

3. Exercise 2x a week
--I might have missed a couple weeks, only exercise once, but I did go out at least once a week all summer. And since I've been working again, I've gone out at least four times a week. So that should make up for those other weeks, right? :}

4. Attend the temple each month
--Missed July by a hair. I planned to go the day I drove back from Roanoke, but I got a later start than I'd planned. Then I was going to go the following Tuesday, but they closed for the cleaning! Argh.

5. Get a job
--At least I didn't say "full-time direct-hire" because I don't have that. But I have a temp job, and am still applying for the other.

Something about Pizza

When I was in that two-jobs situation a couple weeks ago, I had this certain craving for pizza when I came home Monday night, the first night. I think it might have been a growing desire from the atmosphere in the evening job. But I gave in on Monday night and for the first time in several years actually ordered myself some pizza. (Don't worry, I didn't eat it all in one day.)

I was thinking then that it had to have something to do with the work atmosphere. Working late hours, staring at a computer, perhaps, I thought, reminded me of my high school days of working on the newspaper. When we had layout nights (These were old-school days. We had a light board on which we laid regular newspaper-page sized pieces of tagboard with the article/photo layout sketched on them in pencil. Layout nights came toward the end when the articles were copy-edited (by me), some writers finished writing theirs, and the section editors cut and glued the articles and photos in place.) Sometimes it took a few nights, depending on how far behind we were, in order to reach our deadlines. Ideally, it was only supposed to take one night. In any case, we stayed late hours sometimes and always ordered pizza.

The data entry evening job I had a couple weeks ago wasn't as stimulating as working on the newspaper, but it was working late, as I already described.

Well, then last night I had this craving again to order pizza. I didn't this time. Neither my body nor my wallet can budget that. I contented myself with tuna and chips. But where was the craving coming from? I hadn't worked late, and I definitely wasn't doing stimulating work. But I had worked all day--slapping sticker on envelopes. Actually something I've done too much of in the past week--data entry, slapping stickers and stuffing envelopes. It's mind numbing. Seriously. And that made me think that yes, pizza ordering is also associated with brainless work--something to add comfort to long hours of nothingness. It probably doesn't help either that there's a pizza place walking distance from here--like on the same block walking distance.

And there I have one more reason that I really need to find more stimulating employment. I can't be craving pizza all the time.

Living Prophets

Last week I taught Relief Society, Lesson #16 in the Joseph Smith manual, and the lesson went pretty well. I didn't have time to cover everything, which quite often happens, but we had a good discussion with the material we did cover.

It was a good lesson for me particularly to give for a few reasons. (I think the Lord does that on purpose.) But one of those reasons has been on my mind both from when I first read the lesson to now a week later--well longer really, but I'll get to that.

The title of the lesson was Revelation and the Living Prophet, and so of course it dealt with modern revelation. It's a great thing. I'm so glad to live during a time when the fullness of the gospel is on the Earth so I can benefit from living prophets. I've tried following their counsel for many, many years.

In fact, I think I've addressed one of these before, at the time Pres. Hinckley passed away. That is, when Pres. Benson was the prophet, he asked us to read the Book of Mormon every day. And so, with very few exceptions, I have been doing that for many, many years. And then in 2000, I remember reading in the R.S./Priesthood manual of that time--(I think it was Joseph F. Smith), that the prophet of focus, encouraged the saints to read from all of the scriptures every day--Bible, Book of Mormon and Doctrine and Covenants. I'll confess I haven't done it every day, but at least a few times a week, I try to read from the other books in the canon. And I love the scriptures more, I think, from becoming familiar with them in this way.

So, you're wondering, where am I going with this? It is good just to bear my testimony, I guess, but there's another point.

In the lesson is this quote that I actually heard some time when I was at BYU from a returned missionary, maybe he was my home teacher, I don't remember. I don't even remember who it was, just that it was an RM. Anyway, we were talking about daily scripture study and he said that he reads general conference talks every day and not from the other scriptures (I don't recall if it was ever or not as much), because of this quote. (Though I'm sure he paraphrased it and didn't have the source, so I've long wondered what the actually quote was--nice to have these manuals now!)

"Brother Brigham took the stand, and he took the Bible, and laid it down; he took the Book of Mormon, and laid it down; and he took the Book of Doctrine and Covenants, and laid it down before him, and he said: ‘There is the written word of God to us, concerning the work of God from the beginning of the world, almost, to our day. And now,’ said he, ‘when compared with the [living] oracles those books are nothing to me; those books do not convey the word of God direct to us now, as do the words of a Prophet or a man bearing the Holy Priesthood in our day and generation. I would rather have the living oracles than all the writing in the books.’"

At the time, it struck me a little funny because I felt like a contradiction. The prophet had told me (us--everyone) to read the Book of Mormon every day, so that's what I was doing, and now this guy was insinuating that I should instead just be reading conference talks every day.

Well, as indicated already, I didn't stop reading the BoM every day because of that, but the conversation has stuck with me and even in teaching the quote in Relief Society last week, I've wondered how I'm supposed to address it, both in the lesson and in my life. What is its significance?

First, I think it's important to recognize that the gospel doesn't ever change. Last Saturday night, before giving the lesson, I ran through the most recent conference addresses just to verify my supposition, which was confirmed--that every single talk, with the exception of Pres. Monson's concluding remarks, incorporated verses from the ancient canon. And even in Pres. Monson's concluding remarks, although verses were not included, the principles he touched on could have been referenced to other scriptures easily enough.

So I came up with a few analogies, hoping to understand. The first I thought of was it's like the difference between canned fruit and fresh fruit. It's the same thing, but one is a little better for you--coming more recently from the vine. But that's not the whole sense of it. I also thought of it being like a snowball vs. a snowman. There are snowballs in the snowman but there's a lot more there and it's applied to your current situation. That's another aspect of it, but still not the whole sense. And then I thought it's like if you could only shop from one store for a whole year, would you shop at a store with vintage clothing or would you shop at Super Wal-Mart where you can get your clothes and food and a variety of other needed items as well? Well of course, you'd take the latter. Even if you don't particularly like Wal-Mart. But that's not the point. I think all of these analogies have some relevance, and of course, no analogy is ever complete and you can always take one too far and it loses its validity.

But I think the last was most helpful for me. The fact is that we're not limited to one store per year. But that's kind of the point Brigham Young was making. "I would rather have"--is a conditional clause. That means that there's an "if" attached to it, even if not uttered. And it seems natural to assume that the "if" here would be "if I had to choose between one and the other." And he also indicates why--because we need the words of the prophet's today for our today's need. But how can he say this and at the same time have a prophet say we need to read the Book of Mormon every day? Because the principles are all the same, and the living prophets are going to be very familiar with the ancient prophets, so for us to have a better understanding of what the living prophets are telling us, we need to understand how the Lord worked yesterday. It helps us understand how He works today and love Him more.

So in the end, who was right? Me or the RM? Well, actually neither one of us. We both should have been reading both the conference addresses and the Book of Mormon. And so, well, I've tried at various times in the past to do better at reading conference talks, but it hasn't stuck like it should. So that was another reason I needed this lesson, to bring that back to me. I've been reading them again this week, and it's been great with every talk I've read. So much amazing stuff! How blessed I am to have these words in my life. I know they're from the Lord, and I write these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Evening Job

I quit the evening job. It was too much. And it's been amazing to see what a little more sleep can do.
I suppose I still feel like I have two jobs, though. Writing takes up so much of my time. But I finished round 3 since receiving my thesis advisor's comments, which would actually be round 6 total, I guess. But I felt pretty good about this one, will probably run through it one more time before giving it back, but I'm back thinking what am I going to do when it's done now? It's like sending a child off to school.
Well, I suppose it's an easy enough fix--just write another book, right?

Widgets and Google

A friend of mine had the widget you now see at the bottom left--a pretty cool little thing to see what sites and what cities people come from. Funny, too, to see what Google searches bring people here, though I'm sure in all of those cases they're disappointed. For example, someone looked for "mourning Seuss" and came here because I had a post about mourning and Seuss appeared in my book list. And then today I noticed someone had searched "tennis love stories books" and pulled up my "Love the Tennis Way, Kind of." Oh, and about that, I have since learned that love is just plain zero. Did I ever go back and edit that? I don't think so. Not that it has any terrible significance to the post, but it's interesting nonetheless. And then the other poor person, searched for Roald Dahl the Twits and landed on "Writer's Block"--not sure exactly how that happened, but I'm sure it helped not at all. In any case, pretty funny what searches will bring you to. Anyone stay thanks to a funny search? :)